When Worlds Collide

[Andrew Walker]

[QUOTE=Paddo Colt 61;n1028085][QUOTE=Jacks Fur Coat; Old Bean, the only young women wanting to spend time with you require a fetish for diaper replacement.

Though I don't quite understand the allusion Jack (youth doesn't quite tally with incontinence) I do understand the sentiment. Oh, but there was a time.... I could be Chris Dawson you know - there but for the grace of God.
I'm talking about getting a game with Newtown of course not the schoolgirl stuff.

Remember that old Paul Hayward joke? Didya hear? Hayward got sentenced, he got another two years with Newtown.
[/QUOTE]

I think Jaxxx was very nasty to you PC I’m thinking he is a bit upset this story does not include him in any way shape or form After all usually Jaxx is the focal point in your own fictional writings here But all of that could be about to change

[Paddo Colt 61]

Meanwhile, down South, Handy Andy, the Plodder and Rocko the Roadie were riveted to the screen at the Dapto RSL Sky News was on continuous feed and Crelin was haranguing the world about the unfairness of a privileged indigenous population getting the merest of fair goes. "Fckn Abos!" murmured Rocko and the others nodded in agreement.

The Plod had grown up with them in Coonabarabran and still considered them a blight on the Nation. "Bastards get everything without getting off their arses", he sneered "Dad used to shoot 'em on sight back in the old days. Ya could do that back then". The others nodded in solemn agreement.

"Yeah, if ya want a voice, learn English" quipped Rocko and the raucous response startled nearby drinkers.

"That fckn Albo", whined the Plod, "he's the big problem. I used to vote Labor every election but no more. I wouldn't call myself rich but I've worked hard for what I've got and now the Abos are tryin' to take it off me".

"Yeah, and spend it on piss" added Andy, "Give 'em nothin' I say".

The Roadie then interjected awkwardly, "Didja Plod? I didn't know that. I used to see ya down at the Masonic Lodge givin' out How to Vote slips for the Nationals and for the Libs in the State election. Didn't you useta say that Johnnie Howard was the best PM we ever had? You put me onta that actually. Have ya still got his pitcha in the lounge?

The Plodster ignored the remark and continued ranting to Andy about not being rich but having worked hard for every cent, not counting the handsome inheritance he received from good old dad some years earlier.

Andy was something of a neophyte politically but he was impressed by people who had little education but had done well at the School of Hard Knocks and had graduated with honours from the University of Life. One thing for sure, he couldn't cop ya darkie. Mum and Dad had drummed into him their own opinions on the abject laziness of the blacks and their annoying ingratitude. "Mongrels", Dad Walker used to say, "they get taken in and treated like Royalty by white people and all they do is whinge about bein' stolen. Stolen my arse, the best thing that coulda happened to them!" Andrew was always impressed by Dad's logic and so was mum.

TBC.

[mightyrooster]

Lol at this thread. I think….

[Andrew Walker]

Lol at this thread. I think….

It’s all fun and games But bringing people’s parents into it is a little low. I’ve been pretty kind to Paddo thusfar

[Paddo Colt 61]

Handy is a fictional character Andy. He's joining the Sky crowd and voting NO because he's inherited the traditional Aussie mindset handed down for generations. You know....anti Leb, Chink, Slope, Dago and most all, Abo. He's one of those who mourns the passing of White Australia and Dutton has now given him permission exercise that precious freedom of speech that the Anzacs fought for - that inalienable right to be a bigot. But that's not you is it? Say it isn't so man. Say the No stuff is a Loki lend.

And please, no kindness, it's unsettling.

[player 1]

Very funny stuff. Wow, first time I've had a role in a mini series, thanks Paddo for taking me so seriously! Plodder 1!!

[Andrew Walker]

Izzy and Paddo made their way East up Oxford St. Whilst he would have preferred to have been coupled with the lovely Nastasja, he felt a warm comfort that he was with a responsible and caring man who still wore his mask wherever he went, even if it did make him look even more strange than what he looked like. The two had decided so to engage as many people as possible they would station themselves out the front of Paddington Markets. Upon arriving Paddo sent a sense of nostalgia recalling his days at the Primary School there. He began to tell Izzy stories of games of marbles, along with his favourite game of catch and kiss and how he always chased the same girl named Edith Skinner. Izzy was not interested he was here to garner support for The Voice, and very quickly went to work engaging the locals and others who had come to the markets. Paddo was impressed with his enthusiasm, but he thought he lacked style and was rather pushy Paddo went to work keen to show the younger one how it was done.

Things were going well they decided to take a break about an hour and a half later, Izzy went straight for his hip flask of limoncello that was in his suit pocket Paddo went for his water. They began to talk and Izzy mentioned how he was off to Shark Park for the game tonight Paddo said do you are a local aye To which Izzy told him he had travelled up from Canberra this morning and was staying in his Paddington Pad for a few nights He invited Paddo for a few craft beers along with home brews and if he was a fan of limoncello some of that too. Paddo was now in a state of shock He thought surely it could not be, but who else is from Canberra has a pad in Paddington drinks craft beer, home brew and limoncello He realised this had to be Izzy. Paddo chuckled and decided to play dumb He was really good at that too. He accepted Izzy’s offer after they had finished at about 3 or so.

Meanwhile on the other side of the rd things were not going as well. Whilst they both attended the same school in Aschcam Girls the younger girl quickly found herself very bored and that she had nothing in common with Spender She decided to be pleasant to her as she was well connected and could open do
doors for her networking wise. They went about their business and just before midday Nastasja suggested she swap with the strange looking man in the suit and mask who was with his older man who reminded her of her recently deceased Dedushka She intuitively thought in spite of the age difference they might have things in common. She walked over the road and told Izzy to go to the other side of the Rd Izzy asked are you sure ? To which she replied of course I am just because I’m a young woman it does not mean I cannot think and make decisions for myself. Paddo roared with laughter. He was happy and thought to himself now the real fun could begin.

To be continued

[Paddo Colt 61]

The previous day at the club had unsettled Rocco. After a promising start on the Keno he had gone, with high expectations, to the VIP room and done all of his winnings along with what was left of his pension. There would be yet another fortnight of lining up at the Rotary food van for his only meal of the day. Far worse however was Plod's revelation that he had been a lifetime Labor voter. Plod had always insisted that you couldn't make a poor man rich by making a rich man poor and that made a lot of sense though he did know that there were more than just one rich man. Jeez, some of the blokes at the club had a house and two cars. They were all Rugby supporters and all of them, he knew, were voting NO!

He spent most of the morning taping a "Vote No" poster to his bedroom window with Band Aids though he realised that it was likely that not many would be influenced seeing as his Council unit was on the ground floor facing the rear lane - anyway it was the thought that counted. "Why should those bastards get government handouts?" he thought to himself, the irony of his own dependency on the public tit completely escaping him, "They're all piss heads", he thought.

The demand for roadie work had pretty much dried up since the demise of pub rock in the 'Gong and environs. His glory days fronting "Billy Blood and the Settlers" was well in the past, the Settlers having sacked him for chronic drunkenness and general unreliability and replaced him with a younger, more enthusiastic aboriginal fellow, a teetotaller, who, unlike Rocco, could actually carry a tune. Later he got a few night's work with Cold Chisel but then he told Barnsey to fcuk off when the former expressed Republican sentiments. "It's a wog conspiracy you meathead" he slurred as he pushed the recent heart attack sufferer over a speaker that he had neglected to shift earlier. And that was that - back on the dole he went.

It was the fckn Unions wot had caused it, all of that safe workplace bullshit. It was a smoke screen to cover up them ripping off casual workers like him. Bludgers! Plodder, whom he met at the club, had clued him up on Union interference with business trying to make an honest dollar and he had also explained that it was best to vote for rich folk because they were already rich and wouldn't want or need to rort taxpayers money. Not that Rocco paid any tax but he did value his association with Plod who was something of a leader among the members and regularly read the eulogy in the evenings. "They shall not grow old..." he would solemnly intone in a fake posh voice, sometimes, if he'd had a few, stumbling over the words.

Rocco had only recently learned that there had, in fact, been two wars; he had always thought that Gallipoli, where they had to use the A Bomb on the Japs was the biggie. Truth to tell, the Eulogy had given him the shits in the past because the big screen always seemed to go black when Easts were attacking the line. "Fcuk!!" he'd say to himself as Plod, whom he hadn't known at that point, began, in fruity tones, the familiar "Ladies and gentlemen.....". When it came back on you'd find that Johnston had intercepted a Hutch Hail Mary and run 95m to score under the sticks and Jazza was off for biting someone and facing a life ban. The pub was unfortunately out these days because it had become wanker territory and had switched to craft beers. He was banned from there in any case.

"It's the Labor Party and the Greens who are the real thieves", the Plod often asserted, "I'm not rich but I've worked hard for what I've got" - it was a declaration that was often repeated over the months that followed and Rocco couldn't fault the logic but here was the Plod telling him that he had voted Labor most of his life. It puzzled Rocco and he didn't know if he could trust Plod in future. Idly, he thumbed through a Tele that had been left on the bus seat. The "news" was much the same as usual - a big flame out on the freeway, at last Australia was going nuclear, Vlad Putin was the King of A-holes, Albo's Yes campaign was in big trouble due to its rejection by thinking Australians and Peter Dutton was really a very nice guy who had Albo on the ropes. It was all pretty much what The Plodder was always saying.

[Paddo Colt 61]

[QUOTE=Andrew Walker: Izzy and Paddo made their way East up Oxford St. .........................................Paddo roared with laughter. He was happy and thought to himself now the real fun could begin.

I sense a Threesome in the making. Izzie gets out the blow stash after a few Limoncellos and it's on for young and old - cock rings, the lot. Tess of D'Urbervilles is in trouble yet again.

[Andrew Walker]

The young woman made her way over to the other side of Oxford St. Paddo greeted her with a warm smile and once again they began to make small talk.

It wasn’t long before Paddo switched the conversation to politics, he spoke of the evil USA and how gullible the masses were to believe the things they are told.

Nastasja agreed pointing out the proxy war in Ukraine and how the Russians were being demonised by MSM. Also adding Crimea was Russian land just as Kosovo is Serbian land This led to an unexpected foul mouthed tirade on how the KLA started guerilla warfare on Serbian police Those ****ing Albanians had it coming coming to them, filthy pig gypsies the lot of them. For a moment Paddo was speachless he wasn’t too familiar with the Kosovo war. He did though know that war mongering Blair and Clinton were at the forefront of sending the bombers in He tried to turn the conversation back to the war in Ukraine, but the young woman was having none of this and she continued her tirade against the Albanians.

To be continued

[Paddo Colt 61]

[QUOTE=Andrew Walker; ............. Those ****ing Albanians had it coming coming to them, filthy pig gypsies the lot of them. For a moment Paddo was speachless he wasn't too familiar with the Kosovo war. He did though know that war mongering Blair and Clinton were at the forefront of sending the bombers in He tried to turn the conversation back to the war in Ukraine, but the young woman was having none of this and she continued her tirade against the Albanians.

Yel si ti Srpski Andy?

[Andrew Walker]

[QUOTE=Paddo Colt 61;n1029080][QUOTE=Andrew Walker; ............. Those ****ing Albanians had it coming coming to them, filthy pig gypsies the lot of them. For a moment Paddo was speachless he wasn't too familiar with the Kosovo war. He did though know that war mongering Blair and Clinton were at the forefront of sending the bombers in He tried to turn the conversation back to the war in Ukraine, but the young woman was having none of this and she continued her tirade against the Albanians.

Yel si ti Srpski Andy?

[/QUOTE]

ne. I know a few though and I followed that entire Balkans conflict very closely. I also had a girlfriend at the time of the siege of Sarajevo, whose Parents were from Sarajevo one a Croat, the other a Serb. It was a terribly distressing time for them My GF and I would talk about what was happening regularly. I would go for dinner at their place on a Thursday night under strict instructions with the line from Faulty Towers Whatever you do don’t talk about the war.

[Andrew Walker]

The young woman noticed passers by staring at her as they had heard the foul mouthed tirade. She lowered her voice and said to Paddo Did that the Balkan’s war was a CIA ploy to split Yugoslavia and eliminate communism in Europe. Paddo was impressed, but suggested they concentrate on the matter at hand and garner support for the Voice. He also suggested they should discuss the other matter later and that perhaps she would like to have a drink with himself and Izzy after they had finished this afternoon Paddo was sure Izzy would be happy to have her back and knowing who Izzy was could see this really riling Izzy up. He let the young woman in on the secret of how he knew who Izzy was but he had no idea of who he was She had a few spare hours in the afternoon snd thought it would be funny so agreed to come along if this strange Izzy character was cool with it. Paddo was very pleased.

They spoke with the locals and shoppers for an hour or so It was then Paddo suggested they get something to eat for lunch from one of the stalls in the market They had a bite to eat and after that Paddo invited the young woman for a joint in one of the back lanes before they went back to what they were doing The young woman happily agreed They both thought this was turning into a good fun day with more amusement to come.

To be continued

[Andrew Walker]

The old man and young woman slithered off into one of Paddington back lanes to smoke their joint. Whilst smoking Paddo started speaking about an article in Pearls and Irrirations, the young woman quickly interjected saying she was a keen reader of it and had also read the article She also expressed her disdain for the USA. The two puffed away and spoke of the merits and communism and the ills of the USA. They then finished their joint and looked a very unlikely pairing as they slithered back out of the laneway like the rats of Paddington slithered along the gutters. Whilst putting drops of Visine in their eyes along with Nastasja putting in her designer sunnies and Paddo his wrap around Le Specs Nobody would suspect they were stoned.

Meanwhile Izzy and Spender were getting along very well Spender telling ism of all her achievements in life and Izzy doing same. Enchanting the woman with his career achievements as and M&A lawyer sporting deeds as a former elite athlete sprinter turned marathon runner, capped off with tales of Japanese fisher folk and eyewitness events of Tienaman Square in 1989. Izzy asked Spender if she would be interested in coming back to his Paddington pad for more talk and a few limoncellos He was more than prepared to ditch Paddo to spend more time with Spender. Whom he considered a peer and one on equal societal footing to himself. Spender though politely declined due to other commitments but they did exchange numbers and suggested they again hit the streets in a few weeks as referendum day drew closer.

They stuck in the groups Izzy and Spender. Paddo and Nastasja till a bit after three where they called it a day. Spender went over the rd with Izzy to thank the other two for their efforts and spoke to them about doing it all again in a few weeks time. They happily agreed and exchanged details. Spender went on her way leaving the now unlikely trio lurking on Oxford St Paddo mentioned to Izzy that the young woman would also like to come along for the craft beer home brew and limoncello drinks that were on offer Izzy was more then happy to play host to another. They all headed off to Izzy’s pad.

To be continued

[Andrew Walker]

Izzy still all masked up was getting stares from passers by for looking like a freak in his YES mask. PC and Nastasja walked a step or two behind him as both of them did not really wish to be seen to be associated with his masked up look. For Gods sake they thought doesn’t he realise this is covid shit is over. The young woman said quietly to PC The things we do for free booze aye. Paddo chuckled.

They arrived at Izzy’s pad a few minutes later where Izzy offered the two a choice of Home Brew. Craft beer. or Limoncello, both being the curious type they chose the home brew. They all opened up the bottles and took a swig Paddo and Nastasja almost choked on it, what is this rubbish they both thought, Izzy asked them what they thought proudly telling them this was his first batch and how proud he was Both were to polite to tell him what they really thought so both just smiled and sculled the beer. Paddo thinking he was going to spew rushed to the balcony but when he got there he did not spew. Izzy always thinking nobody could out drink him sculled his beer as well.then instantly went to the fridge and pulled out another three home brews. The young woman looked at Paddo who had just made his way back in from the balcony. and they both knew there was only one way to do this They both opened the bottles and sculled the beer again, they both coiled over at the foul taste but looked at Izzy with a smile. Not wanting to be out done Izzy sculled his beer as well and went over to the fridge to get some more Smiling to himself and thinking his home brew was a success. The young woman could and would not stomach another, and said she would like to try some of the craft beer now Paddo immediately said he would to.

To be continued