When Worlds Collide

[ism22]

Tony pulled out a seat next to Michael Isgro at Bill and Toni's. Michael smiled and they exchanged pleasantries as it had been a while. Tony symbolically sipped on his ristretto but something was amiss. Too weak as that fool Billy Boy had forgotten to Irish it up!

Fortunately for old mate Bill, old mate Tony was in good spirits and old mate Michael was there to keep him in check. Tony took his drink to the counter, said 'I think you forgot something'. Bill produced a bottle of Sambuca, filled the Ristretto to the brim to which Tony nodded and said 'grazia'... Toni ignored his pathetic attempt at using a simple Italian expression and focussed on putting away his Sambuca, rather than his surly 'customer'.

Following a few more 'ristrettos', various biscotti and a round of backgammon with Michael (for which he paid a total of $0), Tony saw two familiar Greek gentlemen shuffling into a car. While slow-footed he could put on a turn of pace if the circumstances presented themselves... as was presently the case.

Tony hollered at the gentlemen... 'oooooi... stop those Greek [so and so's] from getting away faaarken!!! Thought you could do the slip on me farken? Back in Yugoslavia I served for my country!!! I was the fastest runner in all of Yugoslavia too... not even the Cossacks could catch me, so don't think you old hellas can do the sneaky... faaarken!!!'

The gentlemen conceded that on this occasion they wete going to have to endure their old mate's stories about his great grandparents' homeland, with the obligatory f-bomb seeded into every sentence at least once. They listened as best as possible... TBC

[Andrew Walker]

Paddo had finished his breakfast and was sipping on his black coffee whilst going through the archives for articles of interest on the Menadue site. The feed had him feeling a little better but he again began to feel queasy at the thought of his dream in the gutter turning into a nightmare waking up to that giant rat nuzzling his lips. He sipped his black coffee and his phone rang again, it was Izzy curious as to what it was this clown wanted he decided to pick up. Izzy invited him over for a quick pick me up of limoncello before they hit the streets He was just about to tell Izzy to Fcuk off but thought it would be rude as after all this was a kind gesture Paddo knowing the area like the back of his hand he said he’d be there in about ten minutes.

As Paddo walked to Izzies he began to think of his other problem back home. He had a plan that involved Izzy He would say that they went out to Shark Park as Izzy had a spare ticket and that after a few beers at the club He went back to Izzy’s for a celebratory limoncello where he had one to many and passed out on the couch. Yeah that will work he thought, he smiled but then recalled that prude of an old bag Mavis Renshawe had seen him passed out in the gutter and no doubt she’d be blabbing to all and sundry on the street as well as personally telling the Mrs. He chuckled to himself and thought I will gaslight the prudish old bag and deny it It will be my word against hers and I will get Izzy to back me up He chuckled and was most pleased with himself.

Paddo arrived at Izzy’s rang the buzzer and was let in He was shocked to be greeted at the front door by Nastasja surely not he thought it couldn’t be. Izzy greeted him with a fresh glass of limoncello and his fears were alleviated soon after when it was explained Izzy had called them both morning to come over They had another two each and beg as n the walk to the town hall with all of them once again intoxicated but ready to hit the streets,
TBC

[Andrew Walker]

The three arrived at the meeting point and were met by the same people as yesterday Spender looked at the trio and noticed Paddo in the same clothes as yesterday she also noted the three of them looked out of it and
intoxicated. She considered sending them home but it was all hands on deck and looking at them she thought they’d only go to a pub back to wherever they came from best keep them here and out of the pub

Wanting to know what they had been up to Spender paired herself with the young girl and Paddo with Izzy and just like yesterday they would swap

They set off and Spender quizzed the young woman about what they had been up to, but she gave little away apart from mentioning watching the footy and going to her club afterwards.

The day went without any incident apart from Izzy and Paddo almost getting into a fight with a crazed Serbian named Tony who was a loud supporter of the No vote You fcuked lefty cnuts roared Tony I will kick you both to tomorrow whilst grabbing the pamphlets off Paddo and ripping them up Izzy was about to unleash some of his karate kicks but before he could do do Tony took off and ran for his bus not to be seen again

The day ended and the trio spoke about having another drink but they were all tired and decided to head home They agreed they would all catch up again real soon

TBC

[ism22]

[ism22]

Tony the Yugoslav resurfaced from his trip of the bus, faaaarkin. TBC...

[Meanwhile, old mate Dale had a good ol' scratch]

[ism22]

Can't wait until this story reaches x-mas. I'm slamming down some Vietnamese moonshine (imported on the greymarket in vinegar bottles) while Paddo''s hitting the mull (gonna assume he's in Canberra for x-mas and has less than 50g or whatever it is).

Wish I could visit him at his Southern Highlands villa (no doubt near my brother's wog mansion on ~5 acres in Bowral) and have a quality ramble about politics. Where's the invite, bro?

Wonder if he'd hit the Vietnamese moonshine? It's one advantage of communism. Everybody's dirt poor under communism (except the top 10%) so they get good at making their own shyte on the side & selling it to yours truely as a side hustle.

Maotai (from China) is frigging good too. A mate has a Mao-era batch that his dad brought in (full case - that stuff goes for $$$). We cracked it open when he had his divorce... earthie flavour with a few 'local herbs' I dare say. The stuff at the shops these days isn't the same (they've excluded the 'local herbs').

Anyhow mull up Paddo ya midnight toker! Smoke a billy or two for me (not my thing but am sure it's fun).

[Andrew Walker]

Seeing Izzy mention Mao sees this story being interrupted for a short few moments with some quotes from Chairman Mao Zedong

[ism22]

> Maotai is a traditional Chinese specialty wine. It is one of the world’s three major distilled wines with the same reputation as Scotch whiskey and French cognac. It is also the originator of Daqu sauce-flavored liquor and is honored as the “national wine”.

Though I'd argue that Scotch (which you would, of course, spell "whisky" rather than using the 'Murrican spelling) and cognac probably have greater reputations, IMO this stuff goes alright!

If you can get the old Mao-era stuff then it's MUCH stronger as they've included a few 'traditional' herbs to help people deal with the stresses of the 'great leap forward'. If I grew up during that era I woulda hit my rations of this stuff pretty hard!!!

[ism22]

Seeing Izzy mention Mao sees this story being interrupted for a short few moments with some quotes from Chairman Mao Zedong

Thanks mate. I'm currently listening to an audiobook of Pfitzinger's 'Advanced Marathoning' ahead of the Canberra Marathon in April. However I'll make sure ai listen to our Chairman's words of encouragement once I'm done with that.

[ism22]

6 months later Jizzy had kicked all alcohol, was training for a marathon (looking rather fit I might add) and was having a quiet latte at Tony and Bill's (as they called it... which is now run by Filipinos, I believe).

Tony the Yugoslav entered the cafe and challenged Jizzy to a game of pinball on the Twilight Zone machine. Jizzy agreed, quietly confident in his ability.

Miles away in an extravagant southern highlands acreage, a scrawny old boy from Glebe sat on his porch inhaling a quiet toke while listening to the Steve Miller Band's old classic 'The Joker' (and humming along... paying close attention to the parts about being called Maurice and being a midnight toker). Concurrently he was reading a bit of 'John Menadue'... in this 'article', a 17 year old 'diplomat' and 'senior fellow' of the People's University of Highly Esteemed, Objective Wisdom was exposing democracy as the failed experiment that it is. He chuckled while reading a sarcastic in-joke that made fun of western democracies.

Meanwhile, Tony and Jizzy's pinball battle raged on. Jizzy set the machine's high score quite casually and now it was up to old Tones to match it. Using brute strength, the hulking Yugoslavian gentleman gave the machine a nudge. The machine responded with the words 'TILT' in addition to a cliche sci-fi quote that I cannot recall. Tony responded... 'TIIILT FAAAARKIN... I SHOW YOU TILT FAAAAARKIN!!!!' He then pushed the machine over... 'AND WHERE'S MY FAAAARKIN' MOOONEY FAAAARKIN?!?!?' Jizz casually sipped his latte, humoured by Tony's antics.

Back in his Burradoo palace on 60 acres, Maurice (as he will now be known) opened up the pouch that usually contained his stash. Drat... he was down to his last few dregs. Time to give Tony a call and source some more. 'Hey Siri, call Tony'...

TO BE CONTINUED

[eddie]

Well it turned out to be a 20 dollar fine for not voting in the referendum, although they called it an "admin fee".
But I got out of it.
I mean a lobster is a lobster, right? half a bottle of bourbon right there.

Now we need a referendum on voting being compulsory.