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I look back on some of my old posts in this thread and I am amazed at how different I am these days. I'm nowhere near the person I used to be, even just a few short months ago, because I really have been working hard at moving on from the frightening times of the last few years. Touch wood, I haven't had one sick day from work this year and we are nearly in June, whereas in the past years I have had mini seizures, respiratory problems, blinding migraines and panic attacks where I could not breathe. I have no miracle cures, nor am I qualified to give medical advice but the simple pleasures in life can be very calming and comforting. I'm not a yoga person but sitting quietly seems to work for me along with listening to music, walking regularly near the water, eating lots of seafood and green veg, no electronic gadgets or tv in the bedroom (never been a fan of that anyway and still do not have a smartphone thingy, my 2005 Nokia and I are still going strong) staying away from sugar and too much read meat, regular contact with the neighbours' flirty dog who loves to come and chat me up at the bus stop every day (the dog, not the neighbour!) and lots of lavender at night to clear the head all helps me sleep really well these days.
I read somewhere that people who visit libraries on a regular basis are happy people, so there are benefits to me being a nerd after all! I am very careful about the company I keep these days because misery loves company and I've had enough misery and bad energy inflicted onto me from others to last me a lifetime. I've no qualms about walking away from anyone who doesn't have my best interests at heart these days or treats me poorly and if someone would like to be part of my social circle, they can bring their manners and goodwill with them, otherwise I am not interested. Its a simple rule of self respect to live by and something I won't apologise for. It's a fine line between being there for someone and just being their emotional doormat for them to walk all over. I had to get myself well on my own these past few months with very little help, apart from Horrie Hastings, who has never ever let me down or made me feel small when I was unable to cope, so it's the quality of the people you have in your life that counts, not the quantity.
I stay away from anything or anyone who is toxic and not good for me as living life on a rollercoaster is no fun when you have been through traumatic times in recent years. I'm no longer living in fear and insecurity and I have finally crawled out of that black hole for good now and this time I won't be dragged back. In a few short months I'll be 48 which is supposed to be a lucky number according to my Chinese work colleagues so we will see what happens. I'm posting all of this so it may help someone who feels that there is no turning point or no way back from wherever they may be. It's taken me a good 4 years to get myself sorted which felt like an eternity to me but the results I am now feeling just in these past few weeks are really worth it and it's made me a stronger smarter more positive girl because of it. I really hope everyone is doing as well as can be expected in dealing with whatever life is throwing at you at the moment and remember you are not alone. Even though we may not get to meet each other in person, just remember there are people in this Roosters community who do care about the wellbeing and safety of its members.
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