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Hello fellow penners,
I happened to be the reading the Kennel the other day, which is a massive unofficial Bulldogs online forum similar to the Chookpen. Some of their threads have over 1000 posts, which is quite impressive.
I noticed in the non-league related threads one entitled the R U Ok? thread. The basic premise was to allow relative strangers to talk about mental health and other issues they’ve experienced in their life, in a non-judgemental and non-professional manner.
I think it’s a really good concept because speaking personally; it can be sometimes very hard to open up verbally to people close to me.
I’ll share a little of my story first, and please feel free to contribute, share your stories, and offer any guidance where you can.
Here goes:
My upbringing was very modest, yet I never experienced any mental health issues as a child, adolescent or young adult. I was a very driven person, and I became the only person in my immediate family to successfully complete high school and university. I also lived overseas for close to four years. I am about to complete a second university qualification in the taxation field, which has been challenging but very worthwhile.
I suffered post-natal depression quite badly when my child was born 2.5 years ago. This was a child we had prepared for and wanted, and I was genuinely happy when my wife became pregnant in late 2011.
The post-natal depression was exacerbated by two factors. Firstly, I had a badly deviated septum, which makes it very hard to breathe through your nose because it is basically bent and oxygen won’t travel through it. The lack of sleep in the early days of a new child only made this worse. Secondly, my wife was and is a real perfectionist, who really pushed me hard in the early steps of being a father and the inevitable mistakes I made along the way.
These two factors led to me being constantly exhausted, and the baby was not sleeping particularly well, especially in the first year.
To be honest I did not cope very well during the first year of my child’s life. I loved the boy of course, but felt resentful towards my wife and the child for taking away my freedom. I had dark thoughts, but somehow I managed to get through them. Due to this situation, I ate a lot of comfort food and put on about 10 kgs in weight. This made me feel even worse. Add to this the embarrassment of a male suffering post-natal depression. I had assumed beforehand that it was a female problem. How wrong I was.
I can report that since my boy has started sleeping better and shown his personality, my post-natal depression has dissipated significantly.
Furthermore, with my wife’s support, I had an operation to correct the nose problem. This has quite literally changed my life, in that now when I wake up I feel rested and refreshed, something that wasn’t the case for the 20 years prior.
In probably a typically male response to difficult situations, I also sought to find outlets. Luckily drinking, smoking and gambling have never interested me, so I began to take more interest in league again after not really caring for quite a while.
I also started to exercise more, and began playing touch footy again. I played it as a young man and was a decent player, and I found that playing it weekly for fun gave me a lot of joy. So much so, that in 2015 I’m going to start playing competitively again. I had also played and umpired competitive cricket up until my child was born, and I realised that I really missed the mateship that comes with being involved with sport. I can only imagine and envy the mateship that would come from playing a professional team sport for a living.
I am now working hard to become a better father and husband, although it is not easy at all.
Anyway, feel free to comment and share your experiences.
Thanks for reading
I happened to be the reading the Kennel the other day, which is a massive unofficial Bulldogs online forum similar to the Chookpen. Some of their threads have over 1000 posts, which is quite impressive.
I noticed in the non-league related threads one entitled the R U Ok? thread. The basic premise was to allow relative strangers to talk about mental health and other issues they’ve experienced in their life, in a non-judgemental and non-professional manner.
I think it’s a really good concept because speaking personally; it can be sometimes very hard to open up verbally to people close to me.
I’ll share a little of my story first, and please feel free to contribute, share your stories, and offer any guidance where you can.
Here goes:
My upbringing was very modest, yet I never experienced any mental health issues as a child, adolescent or young adult. I was a very driven person, and I became the only person in my immediate family to successfully complete high school and university. I also lived overseas for close to four years. I am about to complete a second university qualification in the taxation field, which has been challenging but very worthwhile.
I suffered post-natal depression quite badly when my child was born 2.5 years ago. This was a child we had prepared for and wanted, and I was genuinely happy when my wife became pregnant in late 2011.
The post-natal depression was exacerbated by two factors. Firstly, I had a badly deviated septum, which makes it very hard to breathe through your nose because it is basically bent and oxygen won’t travel through it. The lack of sleep in the early days of a new child only made this worse. Secondly, my wife was and is a real perfectionist, who really pushed me hard in the early steps of being a father and the inevitable mistakes I made along the way.
These two factors led to me being constantly exhausted, and the baby was not sleeping particularly well, especially in the first year.
To be honest I did not cope very well during the first year of my child’s life. I loved the boy of course, but felt resentful towards my wife and the child for taking away my freedom. I had dark thoughts, but somehow I managed to get through them. Due to this situation, I ate a lot of comfort food and put on about 10 kgs in weight. This made me feel even worse. Add to this the embarrassment of a male suffering post-natal depression. I had assumed beforehand that it was a female problem. How wrong I was.
I can report that since my boy has started sleeping better and shown his personality, my post-natal depression has dissipated significantly.
Furthermore, with my wife’s support, I had an operation to correct the nose problem. This has quite literally changed my life, in that now when I wake up I feel rested and refreshed, something that wasn’t the case for the 20 years prior.
In probably a typically male response to difficult situations, I also sought to find outlets. Luckily drinking, smoking and gambling have never interested me, so I began to take more interest in league again after not really caring for quite a while.
I also started to exercise more, and began playing touch footy again. I played it as a young man and was a decent player, and I found that playing it weekly for fun gave me a lot of joy. So much so, that in 2015 I’m going to start playing competitively again. I had also played and umpired competitive cricket up until my child was born, and I realised that I really missed the mateship that comes with being involved with sport. I can only imagine and envy the mateship that would come from playing a professional team sport for a living.
I am now working hard to become a better father and husband, although it is not easy at all.
Anyway, feel free to comment and share your experiences.
Thanks for reading
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