Simpsons Quotes

[Guest]

Marge: I thought we agreed to consult each other before any major purchases.
Homer: Well, you bought all those smoke alarms, and we haven’t had a single fire.

Homer: The whole reason we have elected officials is so we don’t have to think all the time

Lionel Hutz: Uh-oh. We’ve drawn Judge Snyder.
Marge: Is that bad?
Hutz: Well, he’s had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog...
Marge: You did?
Hutz: Well, replace the word “kinda” with the word “repeatedly”, and the word “dog” with “son”.

Lisa: It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than open your mouth and remove all doubt.
Homer’s brain: What does that mean? Better say something or they’ll think you’re stupid.
Homer: Takes one to know one.
Homer’s brain: Swish!

Homer: Kids, while we’re out, the TV’s in charge. Go to bed when it says

Homer: I’m in no condition to drive. Wait, I shouldn’t listen to myself. I’m drunk!

[Guest]

Todd: Are you jealous of brother Homer, Daddy?
Flanders: Eh, maybe just a tad.
Rod: I'm jealous of girls because they get to wear dresses!

[Guest]

Good morning, class. A certain agitator—for privacy's sake, lets call her "Lisa S."... No, that's too obvious. Uhh, let's say "L. Simpson"—has raised concerns about certain school policies...

[Guest]

Where'd you get those. I could get some from this book I have that basically contains info about all the episodes. I'll put up some later.

[Guest]

have you ever used the internet??


they have the internet on computers now?

[horrie hastings]

Me thinks you watch the Simpsons to much Fitzy

[horrie hastings]

have you ever used the internet??


they have the internet on computers now?

I've hurt myself laughing at this one--absolute gold Fitzy

[Guest]

oh horrie there is not a moment that goes by that i don't have an appropriate simpsons quote for!

[supermario]

I bent my Wookie !!!!

[Guest]

Hey Ma! Get off the dang roof!

[Guest]

I like men now......

[Trumper]

All we have to do is go down to the pound and get a new jazzman!

[stsae]

Theres a little Homer in all of us.



Homer no function beer well without.



Here's to alcohol, the cause of—and solution to—all life's problems.



[Looking at a globe map...country being Uruguay]
Hee hee! Look at this country! 'You are gay.'



I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.



Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!



Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.



All normal people love meat. If I went to a barbeque and there was no meat, I would say 'Yo Goober! Where's the meat!?'. I'm trying to impress people here Lisa. You don't win friends with salad.



He didn't give you gay, did he? Did he?!?



It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.

[supermario]

Homer: No beer and not TV make Homer something something......

Marge: Go craxy?

Homer: DON'T MIND IF I DO !!!!!!

[Guest]

Quick operator, give the number for 911!!!

Press any key? Which one is the any key??