No one cares what's on your mind....

[Guest]

i dont really care enough to get involved hey stasey. he's a loser, she's a loser, they prob deserve each other. she doesnt even wanna marry him but shes going to go ahead with it anyway... its pretty pathetic really.

[WickedAngel]

Only a man would attempt this.......

Sorry guys, just had to post this.

Just try reading this without laughing till you cry!!!


Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased
his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked
my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a
little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse- sized tazer. The effects of the tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....??

WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.

AWESOME!!!

Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading
glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and tazer in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second
burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish
out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the
batteries.

All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, 'no possible way!' What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.. .?

I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, 'don't do it dipshit,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and . .

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD . . WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . . WHAT THE
HELL!!!

I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs? The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a tazer, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor.. A three second burst would be considered conservative?

IT HURT LIKE HELL!!!

A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling.

Apparently I pooped on myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my
sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I
believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my nuts and I'm offering a
significant reward for their safe return!

P.S... My wife, can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!

If you think education is difficult, try being stupid !!!

[Guest]

part of the assessment for the special response unit for the qld police requires the candidates to be tasered, just as the recruits are offered the opportunity to be sprayed with capsicum spray. neither are very pleasant apparently!

[Guest]

I am excited about Lent.

[stsae]

Lent, tent, bent, sent, went, gent, Trent.

Ewwwwwww, its not my sleeve, its my flare.

Carry on up the Khyber.

[supermario]

3 wks, thats farrrrrked.

I saw a great email where this bloke caught his soon to be bride offing the best man. So he let the whole thing ride, and played along with the wedding. But hed taped them. So at the reception, which her father had paid for, he showed the video, graphic in front of all her family and friends. They were shattered and he got the marriage cancelled. Ultimate revenge.

Contact the bloke Fitz, could be a good .

Another version of the email is the groom finding a photo of bride and best man having it off, he took the photo and made copies, one for each person.

During the grooms speech, he asked all guests to check under their seats for a special suprise, when people got up and checked, they found the photo.

The groom and his family got up and walked out.

[Guest]

its weird how the human mind works. jealousy is a crazy crazy emotion. its like this paranoia its insane.

[WickedAngel]

HELP PLEASE! Thought I'd be clever & change my password over on the offical board but it's stuffed up & now can't log in there. Anyone have any ideas please?

[Guest]

HELP PLEASE! Thought I'd be clever & change my password over on the offical board but it's stuffed up & now can't log in there. Anyone have any ideas please?

try the forgotten password option,otherwise e-mail or phone Jamie at roosters marketing and he will fix it.

[WickedAngel]

Thanks a lot Spanner. Rang marketing & they are passing onto their tech division to sort out.

[trenty]

bday party weeekend....2 parties 3 days gonna be awesomeeee

[WickedAngel]

3 day weekend here in the west.....yeehaaaaaa! Doing housework tonight so weekend is completely free.

Going with friends to see Kate Ceberano at the Mundaring Weir Hotel amphitheatre......taking a picnic with us to eat while sitting on lawn area. Rest of weekend spent swimming, seeing friends & sewing.

[Guest]

bday party weeekend....2 parties 3 days gonna be awesomeeee

oh dont rain on my already crap parade bitch.

[WickedAngel]

Thunderstorms forecast here on Sunday - hope they hold off so I can at least get some swimming in that morning (outdoor pool & they close it when this happens) but if not, will just stay in bed for that time!

[Guest]

oh dont rain on my already crap parade bitch.

Crap or not you know you'll always be better then Trent.

**** off Trent.