Jizzy's Japan diary

[Andrew Walker]

Where are you ism

[milanja]

You got a lot of filling out to do jizz, was looking forward to the day by day reports.

[ism22]

You got a lot of filling out to do jizz, was looking forward to the day by day reports.

Hahahaha whoops I sorta tuned out and just lived in the moment ay. Can summarise a few key events/topics over the next few days as I recover from the 'Rona.

---

First few days (pre-visitation - intro)
I'll blend a few days into one post as I was pretty flat-out and getting lotsa personal chores done where possible. Below is a list of things I did.

Retro game hunting.
Some may know that I collect and restore a variety of retro gaming consoles. This hobby started in Japan when one night I was feeling lonely so walked over to a 24/7 junk shop in town. I saw that I could get a Sega Dreamcast with just about every game & accessory known to man for something like $50, so I did it.

During this visit I didn't have much time so just went to some of the big chains to see what they have. Darn things have changed! I remember when 'old' meant getting a Dreamcast, Saturn, Mega Drive, SNES, original Gameboy...etc. This is no more! There's now piles of PS3/PS4 games everywhere.

Despite my options being limited, I still found lotsa solid buys without having to walk too far off the beaten track. Won't get too specific (unless people really wanna know) but it was really awesome getting to dive through electronic 'junk' stores again.

Meeting my old mate the bank manager
A guy who always looks after my in Japan is an ex-mayor and ex-bank manager (retired) who has never actually travelled overseas but taught himself functional English and Chinese just using tapes and textbooks (all private study). In short we met through a mutual friend as he's got a massive international outlook (particularly given he's in small town Japan).

One thing that strikes me about this guy is that he has endless energy (despite being in his 80's... looks 40 BTW... no grey hairs or wrinkles) and knows EVERYBODY.

We met a few times during this trip but a notable experience was going to a little sushi shop that I'd always assumed had closed down years ago. I remember when living there I'd ride my bike past it and it was NEVER open (or so it seemed) and from the outside the place looks dead. When he mentioned knowing the owner, and this being the best sushi shop in town I'd always chuckle and be like 'OH REALLY?' with a bit of a knowing wink.

Well... many years later, the eggs on my face (despite it all being served up with a tasty meal). We got in and the inside of the place is LUSH! Food's amazing too... it's crazy how despite being a small town, I always learn amazing new things about this one.

Hitting up the international quarter...
So one thing I've noticed is that the town's becoming more international. I couldn't convince my mum (who also came along... separate topic) as it's all 'asian' to her. However there's a growing quarter where every second shop is [north / south] Korean / Chinese / Taiwanese / Vietnamese (found I found a solid Indonesian place too). Happy to share a few photos later if people are particularly interested in stuff.

Anyhow it's kinda cool. While I tried sticking to Japanese food, it's sorta cool seeing all the variety that's around.

Most of the non-Japanese restaurants are mixed-use dwellings with a shop downstairs and a home up the top. I didn't get time for everybody's story but with current-day geopolitics it's interesting to see where people end-up.

I most definitely avoid politics overseas (and tell everybody I'm an English teacher as a bit of a privacy veil as I don't wanna start small-town rumours about my daughter...etc), but I find meeting a lot of 'Chinese' people in Japan (all lovely people... calm souls) gives me tiny little insights into some attitudes that I haven't really seen in Australia. Linguistically an interesting one is that all the Chinese/Taiwanese people refer to their countries and languages as being separate without batting an eyelid (I dunno if English goes as far as to separate the languages? Maybe it does).

Kinda sadly when they mention their countries, they always stare at me and test that I'm actually saying they're 'beautiful' (kirei v the opposite, which is 'kirai'). Could just be my pronunciation but I got the feeling many were VERY used to people saying 'where ya from? Oh yeah I heard it's a shyte country... anyhow can ya get us some Chinese noodles mate?' There was always an odd moment of connection and a bit of a sparkle in their eye when I confirmed that I'd just said 'I heard it's a beautiful country'. They'd then show me pictures of their families and stuff.

Meeting North Koreans is a topic for another day but an interesting one. Not necessarily loyalists, but some have flags up and the like. A beach in my prefecture is known for North Korean abductions and refugee landings (you're always advised not to go there after dark as people do simply go missing, then re-appear 20 years later after escaping).

Anyway my little mind grew a little bit by talking to all these people. It also set a positive vibe for the journey as I felt a connection with a lot of them, being a foreigner. Not sure why but I've always sorta ignored 'Asian gaijins'. This time around it kinda struck me that my family sorta belongs within the community of 'foreigners' there. I don't fit-in with the 'English teachers' (they're in their own bubble) and I'm not Japanese (okay my daughter is)... but I feel at home in Japan the more I realise that it's now my daughter's home. Strange feeling to verbalise but it's quite heartening knowing that lots of people within an area I'm passionate about have come from overseas. We also shared a lot of common stories/opinions despite being from very different ethnic backgrounds. Yeah... I shed a tear thinking about it as they were such warm people who IMO understood my life/brain a lot better than most Aussies I try to explain the whole thing to.

Anyhow it's 1:50am and my COVID ranting's in full swing so I'd better wrap-up there. Tune-in tomorrow (or in a few days at least) for the next chapter of Jizzy's epic journal.

[ism22]

Today's entry is about visitations for anybody who's interested. I've done a lot of ranting about my past but to get any newcomers up to date, my situation as a dad is as follows. I'll use this post to outline this stuff, the next to go into the specifics... so ignore it if you already know.

- I married a Japanese lady back in the day through what I later learned was a shotgun marriage. She proposed, said it was because I was going back to Australia and without knowing she was pregnant I accepted (woulda either way so that's all moot).

- Unfortunately our marriage failed and by the end of it she simply wasn't the person who I'd married. She became extremely violent towards me and abducted our daughter by getting a guy she met online (now her husband) to 'adopt' her, after filing sham divorce papers (I signed valid divorce papers but she added a little annexure afterwards, claiming I was 'abandoning' our daughter... she lodged this and her marriage papers on the same day, while going into hiding and trying her best to delete me as a parent from all Japanese records).

- Over a ~5 year period I went back to uni to study law (wanted to understand the frameworks better) and successfully applied for 'access' to our daughter through the Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction. The international framework is all well and good, but (as with all international law), countries will decide what they do with it within THEIR framework. Japan doesn't have joint custody and as such its framework's pretty narrow about what sorta 'access' you can request. Part of the problem here is that it takes ~3-5 years to get all your paperwork together (you've gotta try mediation and the like) by which time the abductors will then argue 'she's habitually resident in Japan so there was no unlawful removal from Australia... it would be harmful to send her off to a foreign land to live with a man she doesn't even know'.

- FINE! So in summary... on this basis I'm stuck with an 'access' (rather than custody) arrangement where I can 'access' my daughter for 3 hours a day during a small part of her summer holiday. The is NOT supervised access (her step-dad asked the court for that and they said 'NO!!!') However, he gets 365 days a year with her, tells her a constant story that I'm an unworthy d!ckhead, asks her not to speak to me (tells her I'm here to abduct her) and he doesn't allow unsupervised access as 'he doesn't trust me'. To avoid fighting in front of my daughter... I walk around a small town in Japan with him standing between us, interjecting every time we speak, demanding that no photos be taken, setting the daily agenda (so that it's as restrictive as possible) and telling anybody who asks why we're looking so strange that he's the dad... I'm some weirdo who insists on interfering. They then give me a knowing look and say 'oh really'.

---

Okay that's the past. Now onto THIS visitation...

[Andrew Walker]

Fcuking hell ism. What a nightmare. I’ve had my own shut through the system here but nothing like this I was lucky I was streetwise (that’s not a shot at you) and followed my instincts throughout. One time early on I directly did not listen to my solicitors advice had I listened in retrospect I’d have lost my Daughter due to changed laws here. I know of a few other stories involving kids and parenting arrangements one involving some close to me that are heartbreaking and I know they will not take offence by saying your story is on a par or out does that.

By the sound of it you have done a great job to get what you have and no matter how hard this all is, obe day your Daughter will be an adult and will be able to see you whenever she wishes, she will know you have been there for her as much as you can and she will hopefully hear your side of this Much respect to you.Stay strong mate.

[ism22]

Visitation experiences for 2022

Intro
I'll start by saying I was farking lucky to get over there at all. Won't get into all the magic I had to work behind the scenes but Japan's completely closed to tourists and their 'family' visa requires two things...

- An invitation from a Japanese citizen who you are related to (daughter's a minor and good luck getting my ex to arrange this).

- A commitment that I'll stay with them [in this case my ex] to isolate for a week if I get COVID (yeah nah... not happening).

I pulled a lot of strings to get myself a humanitarian visa and am VERY happy that this visitation went ahead, largely because 'alienation' is part of the abduction process. Abductors don't want you getting physical contact and building memories. They wanna erase all that and be like 'he was never there for you... he didn't care about you... you two have no bond of history... he's just trying to trick you'.

So yeah... bloody stoked that the visitation happened at all. Below is a description of how a lot of the 'visitation' operated at a 'CLUB' we visited.

Finding a place to sit
Firstly, the Japanese summer is bloody hot and humid. Australia's hot but Japan's sorta like a tropical island in summer... it can be 30'C but feel like 45'C. Further, Japan's rightfully taking COVID very seriously (everybody's masked and there's a lot of death stares if you loiter around in public spaces too long) so we needed an indoor venue where we could stay for ~3 hours a day without getting stared at or moved on.

The step-dad dismissed all our suggestions and insisted on a place called 快活 CLUB. Um. Aaar... the 'pleasant CLUB'. Why? Well because it's got separate boots where you just sit around and do things independently. Basically it's a place with manga, showers, unlimited tea / icecream and food. Everybody sits in an independent booth and does their own private stuff.

Being the genius he is... the step-dad demanded that we be given booth numbers and insisted that his booth was between us. He then told my daughter to get a comic + an icecream and ignore me for 3 hours while I attempted to talk, show her family photos/videos and produce some games/activities from my bag. Every time we started playing a game, he'd jump-in and start skipping my turn so that I wasn't able to play. It was frigging awkward.

We didn't spend all our time in this 'pleasant CLUB' but we spent a lot of it there, with him constantly moderating all conversation. I get it... all the Japanese abduction propaganda highlights concerns that foreigners are gonna try to seed evil ideas like 'Japan is horrible'... 'wouldn't you prefer to live in Australia'? Their government had published fake videos of a (fictitious) Taiwanese man doing this to her daughter while the Japanese mother sulks and says 'stop!!! I do not want you badmouthing me or my country!!! She is Japanese you know?!?'

Fine... I get these 'fears' but the constant moderation of innocent daddy/daughter conversation is just painful. My tactic during such moments is to know that 'she knows' no matter what. I make sure I'm not the evil person she's been told I am, give her positive vibes the whole time and don't share 'propaganda' like they do constantly as abductors. Rather, I just keep her updated, let her know we all care and let her know she's loved. Further, I share a few trinkets of Australian / Italian culture with her... letting her know she's a really special person to be Japanese, Italian and Australian (which the step-dad watches on, cringing about it all.

One thing he can't prevent is comparisons. She's now significantly taller than her step-dad and all our hands/feet/features...etc are similar shapes. Not much is said, but she always points to various common features and smiles.

Possible improvements
I'm working on getting the step-dad removed from this process completely as it's a breach of the order. Tricky but IMO ideally her grandparents (who I know and have rapport with - unlike the step-dad who is intentionally obtuse) can either drop her off and collect her at the station or heck... stay with us as a family.

Also... visitations were missed during the early days of COVID. I'd like to do some catch-up visits that are outside summer (i.e. a bit more comfortable for 3+ hours of outdoor activity).

Let's see! The above may require more tim me in court but I'm optimistic that they could be negotiated instead.

[ism22]

Fcuking hell ism. What a nightmare. I’ve had my own shut through the system here but nothing like this I was lucky I was streetwise (that’s not a shot at you) and followed my instincts throughout. One time early on I directly did not listen to my solicitors advice had I listened in retrospect I’d have lost my Daughter due to changed laws here. I know of a few other stories involving kids and parenting arrangements one involving some close to me that are heartbreaking and I know they will not take offence by saying your story is on a par or out does that.

By the sound of it you have done a great job to get what you have and no matter how hard this all is, obe day your Daughter will be an adult and will be able to see you whenever she wishes, she will know you have been there for her as much as you can and she will hopefully hear your side of this Much respect to you.Stay strong mate.

Yeah it's tough knowing what to do hey. In my situation I didn't wanna be an abductor and didn't wanna block my daughter from her Japanese language / culture / family (which I totally coulda as she was habitually resident in Australia at the time and needed my permission to leave for Japan).

I hope I made the right choice and that when she's an adult, she'll respect some of these decisions.

Had I taken an Japanese-looking girl away from her mother, not taught her proper Japanese and raised her in Canberran suburbia then I dunno! I don't think she necessarily woulda liked me for that, and in my books I woulda been no better than her mother.

It's hard to know what's right when the other side's ALWAYS gonna come at you with dog shots from below the belt though ay? I appreciate the angle that some may see me as being pretty stupid for giving my ex so many chances. Again though... to me this is the person I wanna be.

[ism22]

Next chapter of visitation, the shopping mall...
Dunno how to describe this one but a couple of times the step-dad was like 'we are going to the shopping mall'. We'd then get on a tram (with him sitting in the middle of my daughter and I) and silently ride there while everybody looks at us wondering 'are these two angry gay men abusing a teenaged girl or something? How come the one who's clearly the biological father is not allowed to sit next to her... is he a paedo or something?'

After 30 minutes of stares we'd arrive at the mall. It's not a bad one so I'll try to lighten up as I'm sounding like a broken record.

There's something about small-town malls that I enjoy. I guess they're a bit glam and everything's very generously priced. We have things like Muji and Daiso in Australia but they're much smaller, far more expensive and westernised.

The shopping mall provided some good opportunities to talk properly as the step-dad got fixated on some 2nd hand Android phones, so we got a solid hour or so of uninterrupted chatter. Sounds silly but a mall's not actually a bad place for chatter as it gave my daughter and I a lot of insights into each others interests.

Of course one 'rule' the step-dad insists on is 'NO PRESENTS' and 'NO BUYING HE THINGS... YOU CANNOT BUY LOVE'. I find this particularly nasty as trinkets are important. Like I dunno. I never saw my dad much as a kid but he got me a leather wallet from Italy that had a particular smell about it (probably from a flea market but it was my trinket). When he died I kept his shaving brush, razor and woollen jumper as trinkets.

Anyhow, old mate was stuck looking at phones for hours. I almost offered to buy him a new one to put him outta his misery.

One thing malls inevitably raise is a bit of a wealth divide. I'm not load but y'know... my wife and I are now mid-career lawyers, so we're not poor either. My ex was a primary teacher and the step-dad repairs air conditioners. Add to this the fact that Japan (particularly in small towns) isn't the sorta country where you wave money around at people, it was a theme that sorta popped up.

I showed my daughter pictures of our new house which is 5br and on a leafy, corner, 1/4 acre block. Nothing glam or extravagant, but something I find really difficult is actually sharing such things while her step-dad's drooling over 2nd hand phones.

If she hadn't been abducted then I woulda kept paying child support. While not opposed to child support (I still put away equivalent payments for my daughter to 'gift' her later on), I've actively been asked by my ex not to pay anything as I am 'not the father'. To me this is a broader social issue as abduction provides a safe-haven for deadbeat dads who don't wanna support their kids or have anything to do with them.

Anyway yeah... walking through a mall provides mixed emotions for me. It did sorta strike me that my daughter's now at a significant financial disadvantage when compared with my son. I didn't get a lot of feedback but how should she feel about seeing him living the dream in his new adventure garden and playroom (which is without doubt larger than her apartment).

Yeah. Tough as I don't wanna 'buy love' but at the same time, I want both of my kids to be getting a fair share. I don't really know how I'm gonna correct this. My son's trilingual (which my daughter should be - but she's been blocked from English/Italian) and I reckon my daughter may be getting the impression we're a bit spoiled. Dunno what to do there but I'm definitely careful about what I share as a result.

Overall the mall trips were some of my better visitation experiences. Not sure what else to say there, but I did get so walk around, exploring a mall with my daughter. She likes reading a lot (mostly manga and age-appropriate books). A really deep part of this whole experience is that the way she's being raised, she's being taught that she's 'only Japanese'. Focussing on outcomes rather than what 'should be'... it opens my mind knowing my daughter is VERY Japanese. Whereas my son's a little Aussie kid who speaks Vietnamese and Italian... my daughter largely thinks and speaks like somebody who is not from a multicultural background.

The lesson for me is that I need to keep hitting the books, improving my language skills (I'll never be perfect but always try to do one better) and doing my best to understand my daughter. The circumstances have given me something really special. I'm really excited to see how she grows over the next few years...

[milanja]

You’re pretty special jizz, and a genuine laugh(two gay men at a mall)classic.

you’re obviously doing everything you can, and then some.
Keep at it and be patient, and I’m sure you will be rewarded in the future.

[ism22]

You’re pretty special jizz, and a genuine laugh(two gay men at a mall)classic.

you’re obviously doing everything you can, and then some.
Keep at it and be patient, and I’m sure you will be rewarded in the future.

Cheers mate, I think patience always wins

[ism22]

General sightseeing
Enough about the visitation process for now. While COVID reduced my desire to move around too much, I always wanna get out there and enjoy the surrounds a bit to make sure I'm enjoying Japan. As mentioned, I feel a spiritual connection to Japan now because my daughter's there and I've learned the language... while I'm not 'Japanese' and never will be, I think that I have a valid blood association with the place. Below are a few places that I made sure to visit.

Toy castle in Komatsu
The owner told me it's been there since 1993 and I'd recommend it to ANYBODY who ends up being in Komatsu (not a bad city TBH - yes - the home of the company that makes all that mining / earthmoving gear, with lotsa cool museums dedicated to all of it). It's a smallish city but has the only airport in my region and well... Komatsu's pretty darn big, so there's money there for engineers...etc. Quirky but always a necessary stop for me.

Anyhow if you walk back from Komatsu station a little there's a massive plaza. The plaza's always dead but all the shops just somehow stay alive. One is this MASSIVE toy shop that looks like a castle.

It's a really mysterious shop because it never seems to have any other customers (and a lot of the stock's from a bygone era) but it's HUGE and well maintained as there's two ladies who sit there all day cleaning / tweaking everything.

Part of the magic is that a lot of the (timeless) toys are from the 80's and 90's and have been sitting on the same shelf since then (as new, with VERY reasonable prices). To support the cause I always load-up on presents here. Most importantly, I grabbed ~20 capsule toys from their capsule machines (they have about 100 different machines). Yep... the toy shop is cool!

My old house (first home)
Not sure why but I always feel a burning desire to visit my old house. It's a little 3br cottage in Tsuruga (smallish town near Fukui) that's quite neat. Visiting makes me see a lot of ghost memories of taking my daughter to the nearby park, shopping at the local fish markets and living our my first marriage in that little region.

My old house is next to a shrine that's pretty small and largely unused. While I'm not a religious person, I'll go there, pray, wash myself clean in their water and make a donation. That little shrine was a refuge for me while in Japan as it's where I'd take my baby daughter when my ex-wife was having fits of temper. I'd just take her there, hold her and there was a certain peacefulness about it all that always put us at ease.

While we have churches and the like in Australia, to me an interesting thing about Japan is all these little shrines. Most people aren't 'religious' but they'll use these sites for significant life events and spiritual cleansing. I dunno! I reckon there's significant benefit in being able to visit them.

Nearby there's also a temple that I visit. Don't wanna talk about it much but one night after I was newly married, my ex-wife screamed at me and told me to get out, and never come back. I ran to the temple bare-footed in the snow at climbed a nearby wall. There was a metal wire hanging off a tree with a noose in it. Won't say much more... but I tried to kill myself there and one of the monks saved me and helped me find a way forward (he took me home and sorted out things with my ex-wife). Similarly I feel a connection with this place because it gave me my life. Thus, I'll follow their little ceremony and feed them some coin to ensure their subsistence.

---

More to come I suppose. Feeling very sleepy from this whole COVID thing, ay...

[mightyrooster]

General sightseeing
Enough about the visitation process for now. While COVID reduced my desire to move around too much, I always wanna get out there and enjoy the surrounds a bit to make sure I'm enjoying Japan. As mentioned, I feel a spiritual connection to Japan now because my daughter's there and I've learned the language... while I'm not 'Japanese' and never will be, I think that I have a valid blood association with the place. Below are a few places that I made sure to visit.

Toy castle in Komatsu
The owner told me it's been there since 1993 and I'd recommend it to ANYBODY who ends up being in Komatsu (not a bad city TBH - yes - the home of the company that makes all that mining / earthmoving gear, with lotsa cool museums dedicated to all of it). It's a smallish city but has the only airport in my region and well... Komatsu's pretty darn big, so there's money there for engineers...etc. Quirky but always a necessary stop for me.

Anyhow if you walk back from Komatsu station a little there's a massive plaza. The plaza's always dead but all the shops just somehow stay alive. One is this MASSIVE toy shop that looks like a castle.

It's a really mysterious shop because it never seems to have any other customers (and a lot of the stock's from a bygone era) but it's HUGE and well maintained as there's two ladies who sit there all day cleaning / tweaking everything.

Part of the magic is that a lot of the (timeless) toys are from the 80's and 90's and have been sitting on the same shelf since then (as new, with VERY reasonable prices). To support the cause I always load-up on presents here. Most importantly, I grabbed ~20 capsule toys from their capsule machines (they have about 100 different machines). Yep... the toy shop is cool!

My old house (first home)
Not sure why but I always feel a burning desire to visit my old house. It's a little 3br cottage in Tsuruga (smallish town near Fukui) that's quite neat. Visiting makes me see a lot of ghost memories of taking my daughter to the nearby park, shopping at the local fish markets and living our my first marriage in that little region.

My old house is next to a shrine that's pretty small and largely unused. While I'm not a religious person, I'll go there, pray, wash myself clean in their water and make a donation. That little shrine was a refuge for me while in Japan as it's where I'd take my baby daughter when my ex-wife was having fits of temper. I'd just take her there, hold her and there was a certain peacefulness about it all that always put us at ease.

While we have churches and the like in Australia, to me an interesting thing about Japan is all these little shrines. Most people aren't 'religious' but they'll use these sites for significant life events and spiritual cleansing. I dunno! I reckon there's significant benefit in being able to visit them.

Nearby there's also a temple that I visit. Don't wanna talk about it much but one night after I was newly married, my ex-wife screamed at me and told me to get out, and never come back. I ran to the temple bare-footed in the snow at climbed a nearby wall. There was a metal wire hanging off a tree with a noose in it. Won't say much more... but I tried to kill myself there and one of the monks saved me and helped me find a way forward (he took me home and sorted out things with my ex-wife). Similarly I feel a connection with this place because it gave me my life. Thus, I'll follow their little ceremony and feed them some coin to ensure their subsistence.

---

More to come I suppose. Feeling very sleepy from this whole COVID thing, ay...

That’s a very personal story there ..izzy. I’m so glad you’re still with us to tell it and I hope you’re in a safe and happy place these days with your lovely family. I have always wanted to go to Japan as I studied Japanese at school and then university. I still know quite a bit but sadly with time I have forgotten quite a lot. If you don’t practice a language you tend to forget it. I still know all of my hiragana and katakana though!

[ism22]

That’s a very personal story there ..izzy. I’m so glad you’re still with us to tell it and I hope you’re in a safe and happy place these days with your lovely family. I have always wanted to go to Japan as I studied Japanese at school and then university. I still know quite a bit but sadly with time I have forgotten quite a lot. If you don’t practice a language you tend to forget it. I still know all of my hiragana and katakana though!

You should totally go. IMO if you've studied it at university then you'll probably surprise yourself with how much vocab/grammar you know. If you've got the hiragana and katakana sorted then that will serve you well as you'll know how to pronounce all the sounds.

I never studied it at uni and IMO that's sorta capped my ability as I've learned 'how to speak', but have learned a lot of bad habits that are difficult to correct.

[mightyrooster]

You should totally go. IMO if you've studied it at university then you'll probably surprise yourself with how much vocab/grammar you know. If you've got the hiragana and katakana sorted then that will serve you well as you'll know how to pronounce all the sounds.

I never studied it at uni and IMO that's sorta capped my ability as I've learned 'how to speak', but have learned a lot of bad habits that are difficult to correct.

I actually think being forced to interact and speak the language with the locals is a better way of learning it than from uni. You would have a better grasp of the language than me now. But yeah one day hubby and I would love to go there. Got to do UK first though as that is the priority.

[Johnny Brass]

That’s a very personal story there ..izzy. I’m so glad you’re still with us to tell it and I hope you’re in a safe and happy place these days with your lovely family. I have always wanted to go to Japan as I studied Japanese at school and then university. I still know quite a bit but sadly with time I have forgotten quite a lot. If you don’t practice a language you tend to forget it. I still know all of my hiragana and katakana though!

I would highly recommend buying a JR rail pass if you go MR as it gives you great access to travel around the country at a very reasonable price.
The level of customer service in Japan leaves everywhere else in its wake and is the safest, cleanest country I've ever visited.