Jizzy's adventures in SE Asia

[ism22]

As I've declared in one of Paddo's many threads, I'm currently in Thailand and will be doing Vietnam shortly. Figured this deserves its own thread as many (1 or 2 people max) are interested in our modest family holiday to SE Asia.

This week we're staying near Siam Square which seems to be a pretty modern/fancy part of town (lotsa big Japanese malls / shops and about 10 bloody Starbucks outlets, with lotsa youngsters walking around holding Starbucks bags as if they're high-end fashion items rather than a mediocre chain that serves overly sweet, coffee-based milkshakes with a bunch of hipster claims about the origins of their beans... which more than likely involve slavery in Africa or similar).

Last night I did a 20km run around a bunch of 'sky walk' style platforms that allows you to travel above street level. As each skywalk ended, I shot up random back streets, ran through malls and went around a (closed) park (which I decided not to enter) and along some pretty dingy looking canals. This was after a buffet at the city's highest skyscraper. The buffet was pretty solid and I ended up scoffing a heap of puddings at the end (comprising sticky rice, coconut cream and durian - say what you like, I love durian! To me SE Asia's all about fresh, tropical fruits!)

While the above is definitely an experience, I'm saving myself for tomorrow as we did a lot of walking today. In short my wife decided she couldn't stand paying for a taxi to the royal palace (plus some popular pad thai shop). As such we ended up bussing it to a strip near the palace. Joke was on us because we then had no idea how to get there from the bus stop (no map outside a guidebook + no internet as the boss has told me we're not getting a SIM card).

Anyhow some English-speaking scammer offered us a ridiculously cheap tuk-tuk ride to have lunch, a visit to a temple and a visit to the royal palace. We were too tired to resist so said 'sure'. Unsurprisingly the guy took us to a network of shops that he was contracted to (plus the places he promised). He the explained that we HAD to wait around for at least 10 minutes at some (presumably) fake jewellery store because he didn't get his fuel voucher unless we stayed for at least 10. Fine. We stayed and then he asked 'what next?!?' We said 'TAKE US HOOOME!' He said 'nope, you're going to a floating market and purchasing a 2 hour boat trip'. We be like 'yeah no, we're knackered bro'. He then ended up dumping us at some totally random wharf that was off our guidebook's map. Using some logical reasoning, I figured out where it was and we walked 1/2 way back to the hotel. Fatigue set in and we ended up getting a scooter ride back to the hotel for very little money. Winning!

Dinner involved exploring some night markets and finding a neat little strip with some soups n stuff. I had some rice with roast pork, a solid duck egg and a side serving of some broth. We then walked... saw stuff... went back to the hotel and I put my son to sleep. Once my loved ones were safe and asleep I hit up the downstairs 7 Eleven which is very much like the Japanese convenience stores (similar products - lotsa Japanese stuff). I grabbed some snacks for tomorrow's road trip (we're going to a water park) and a longie of Singha Reserve (plus a razor & shaving cream as I'm starting to look like a bum). Winning!

[ism22]

PS - I believe the John Menadue approved version of events involves me being 150kg, bald, obnoxious and spending the majority of my time exploiting child labour / partying / breeding with locals (plus starting heated political debates with locals about their domestic politics).

I wish to confirm that none of the above has happened. I'm here with my wife and son on a lovely family holiday (and will be staying well away from clubs / red light districts). My doing a 20km city run and relaxing at our hotel with a beer is about as exciting as the nightlife's gonna be for me... sorry to disappoint (though I realise that Menno will likely disregard my mainstream version of events).

[A Country Member]

CSB
How did all three of you fit on the returning scooter?
Or was your son not with you?

[ism22]

CSB
How did all three of you fit on the returning scooter?
Or was your son not with you?

Two separate scooters. Dangerous but it was a short distance and we were desperate.

[eddie]

Keep them coming Izzy, I'll be reading.

[A Country Member]

Two separate scooters. Dangerous but it was a short distance and we were desperate.

Got it. Free on won. Too on da udder.

[mightyrooster]

Good stuff Izzy. Keep the updates coming.

[Dr. Voodoo Man]

I've ridden scooters around in Thailand. It's extremely dangerous. People are on holidays, maybe drinking and or high and let their guards down. I had a couple of different scooters in Korea and a nice one in Taiwan. I have seen nasty accidents including fatalities. I'm retired from scooters now and consider myself extremely lucky not to have had an accident. At times I would get high, eat some mushrooms and drive into the mountains of Taipei County and enjoy the views.

[Paddo Colt 61]

Really? I don't recall any Skywalk platforms up on the Central Coast but there has been a lot of development there I know.

I'm warming to you Voods. Naive politically but my kinda guy in many other ways.

[ism22]

Yesterday we went to a resort in a place called Hua Hin (which we're still at - my son's currently at the kids club playing Harry Potter on Playstation while all the kids look on in amazement because he can read the English instructions and actually progress in the game. A Spanish friend who's a fellow retro gamer said gaming was pretty much random to him as a kid as it was all in English - an oddity even when playing many Japanese games. Anyhow...).

Our journey from Bangkok to Hua Hin was pretty cool. Continuing our theme of getting scammed everywhere we asked a taxi driver to take us there. He said 'sure... 3000 baht' (~$130), which seemed reasonable as he has a luxury SUV and it's a 3 hour drive. The catch? 'heeey so we're gonna go to this nice little floating market along the way... is that cool?' Sure. Floating market. We can have a look, buy some food and then p!sss off.

Catch? We sit down at the floating market's reception desk and they are like 'soooo... it's either 1500 baht each for a ride to the market or 3000 each for the DELUXE ride'. Suddenly my slow brain tick! This guy didn't buy his luxury SUV by driving people long distances for $130 a day. So we accept our fate, pay 1500 per person (more than our ride altogether) for this cr@ppy boat ride around some canals to various tourist trap shops (with generic souvenirs & heavily over-priced food). To help the cause I bought a small painting and we had what was a surprisingly decent meal at a little restaurant.

Then? The boat broke down at some random place (or did it? He wasn't trying very hard to get it started again, I suspect he just intentionally stalled it to hand us over to somebody else). We sat there patiently for about an hour until another dude picked us up. This guy wanted to take us to a range of large souvenir shops (the glam ones with 'gold') and a temples (which shake down hippies for 'donations'... lotsa white hippie ladies in sarongs / hippie pants seem to spend $$$ pretending they're chilled buddhist people. I suspect these 'temples' are not run by real monks or used for anything aside from shaking down surfie chicks).

After much time spent making steering wheel gestures and saying 'home pleeeeease!!!' the guy took us back to the mother ship. When we arrived, we were greeted by a very attractive, pregnant woman who stroked my arm, showed me a photo they'd taken of us smiling as a family in our lovely boat. Just [insert ridiculous amount of money]... oh okay... let's just do it and accept it's the tourist tax we must pay.

We all slept well in the car and eventually arrived at the waterpark. Solid place in terms of the quality/finish (you can tell there's a lot of Japanese/Korean investment... though the clientele are mostly Russian/Chinese... aside from the masses of Korean soccer players who appear to be here for a tournament).

The waterpark is like a condensed version of Jamberoo Recreation Park... with more good and less fillers. You can also charge all your icecreams and the like to 'the room' (aka my wife) so it's pretty sweet. We spent a good 5-6 hours running around, going down waterslides, fanging around the 'lazy river' and shooting people with water cannons. There's two massive rides (not quite as big as big as Jamberoo's Perfect Storm and Funnel Web), but a similar vibe and the engineering's there so they're all very safe. I'm a bit meek, but my son was keen to go down them so we did them 100 times. VERY cool. Though my wife took a video of us, sent it to her parents and the were like 'um... who's that young Russian lady with a tiny bikini and massive boob job who's hanging onto Jizzy near the end?' A random. Probably a spy sent by John Menadue to try and seduce me. Let's be clear... I'm a PE teacher if anybody asks what my job is while in this part of the world.

Moving on. At night we tried going to the deluxe restaurant on the top floor. No go... they escorted an old Chinese couple to their table and then never came back to seat us. Guessing it wasn't for our type so we went downstairs to the family restaurant (which TBH had a better view because there's too much smog up-high... pro tip if paying for restaurants in tall buildings over here!)

Dinner was fecking awesome!!! I got a soup (chilli and coconut) with some massive tiger prawns. I looove seafood but can't eat it in Canberra or Vietnam (it always tastes rotten to me outside SUPER fresh seafood, maybe I spent too much time eating the good stuff in Japan? Dunno). I don't usually eat the body but they lightly fried these prawns so I ate the head and shell since they were the perfect mixture of softness/crispiness. Coconut smoothie + an awesome dessert to finish it off. We were all happy! My son had the best dessert. The house made their own coconut icecream that was served outta a coconut with a heap of condiments (not too sweet, just tasted like a coconut). Winning! It was all amazing.

My son went to sleep almost immediately after I started reading him a story back in our service apartment style room. I then put my running gear on, found a trail on Strava and did a pretty rough 20km (the humidity was craaazy as we're right on the beach and I was even more glad that I used trail shoes for this one as the paths were bumpier than my local Mt Painter trails, with more crazy potholes). I got home with the all time record for the trail, then realised that it was actually just some dude's delivery route on his scooter (which... he's using Strava for and calling a run? Go figure! Yes you need to go OVER the crowded bridge at the end with no pedestrian access, not under. Under is bad and I'm lucky I came back alive as there was some pretty sketchy stuff going on there).

Notably some VERY respectable runners have been around this area. Not the routes that I did, but there's some solid international times for various legs.

Got back. Skulled all 4 bottles of water that were in the fridge and hopped in a cold shower. DESTROYED! However, I slept like a baby and woke up feeling amazing.

---

Today? Started with my son and I going for a walk to a convenience store and getting a phone charger (plus some snacks for the car... all lotsa fun) while my wife had a well deserved sleep-in.

We then had amazing buffet (and two decent coffees from a decent auto espresso machine... y'know... the kind that does better than all but your favourite local barista). Pancakes with pandan custard, lotsa tropic fruit, cooks able to do just about any bespoke thai meal and of course, all the standard 'western style' offerings (all the Chinese guests are taking 15cm high bowls of pure bacon... not fatties... I think they're just taking advantage of the buffet which I find kinda cool to see).

Alright time to leave this kids club and head back to Bangkok for our last night there before Vietnam (Hanoi first). Jizzy signing out.

[Dr. Voodoo Man]

Really? I don't recall any Skywalk platforms up on the Central Coast but there has been a lot of development there I know.
I'm warming to you Voods. Naive politically but my kinda guy in many other ways.

You might be surprised how far left I lean and what I have read Comrade. I used to be more or less an anarchist in my personal way of thinking but I matured. In my opinion left and right has lost any sense of meaning. I hate the far right as much as the far left. I like smart people and smart solutions.

[Paddo Colt 61]

[QUOTE=Dr. Voodoo Man; I used to be more or less an anarchist in my personal way of thinking but I matured.

Depends on what you mean by Anarchism and "maturity" for that matter. Anarcho Syndicalism is my ideal system of democratic governance and worked a treat in Spain in the early years of the Civil War. George Orwell went to Spain to fight for the Anarcho Synd cause and you couldn't say that George was immature.

[ism22]

I used to be more or less an anarchist in my personal way of thinking but I matured.

Depends on what you mean by Anarchism and "maturity" for that matter.

IMO there's a serious difference between 'maturing' and 'letting go'. I don't personally think that doomers like you are 'progressive'. In essence you're recommending that the west give up and bow down to Russia / China for leadership on social issues. Whereas lefties are inherently trying to PROGRESS our social policies... not destroy the fabric of liberal democracy.

[Paddo Colt 61]

Neither the rampaging mobs in Washington on January 6th two years ago nor the latest mob in Brazil were/are "Lefties". Think before you pronounce something air-headish.

Liberal Democracy is the philosophy of the bourgeoisie who replaced Monarchism in the 18th Century as our new overlord. Fascism is endemic in it and is the last card in the pack when things don't go to plan - see Chile and Oz in '75, Nazi Germany and Fascist Italy. Any number of countries really.

[ism22]

Neither the rampaging mobs in Washington on January 6th two years ago nor the latest mob in Brazil were/are "Lefties". Think before you pronounce something air-headish.

1. Like you, the Trump supporters and their insurrection rejected the validity/integrity of the system itself rather than leveraging democracy to promote a social policy. Rejecting democracy in favour of authoritarianism is not a form of social progression.

2. Liberal democracy is a system of government, a large part of which is the separation of powers and political freedom. Get back to me when you've done a law degree and have a basic understanding of this stuff. Your 60's arts degree, dip ed and stash of weed don't cut it.

3. WTF does this have to do with my holiday? Use one of your many other threads for your hogwash, please.