Mosese Fotuaika Tigers NYC player dead

[Guest]

Apologies if this has already been posted about, but I couldn't see anywhere that it had & it's such a tragic story I thought I'd post about it. Such a tragedy at 20 years of age this apparently very promising young man was found dead in his apartment last night, I can't find how he died but it was written there were no suspicious circumstances, which usually means that it was suicide doesn't it, how or why this young bloke got to this place in his life is beyond me, surely he could have been helped, so sad. My sympathies go out to his friends & family, this shouldn't happen to anyone.

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/sport/nr...-1226588044039

[Hawkeye]

A couple of the players on social media have made reference to mental health, so would have to assume it was suicide.
Very sad indeed at age 20 with so much in front of him.

[Guest]

Terribly sad. Poor kid.

[chook 56]

If true that it was a mental health issue, it is more common than what the general public realise.
For those that have not experienced a family member going through this, all I can say it is just a living hell.

My eldest boy (and us as his family) went through years of this nightmare. Several suicide attempts.
We got lucky.
This young boys family weren't so fortunate.

All my best wishes & heartfelt feelings go out to them at this time.

Such a terrible waste.

[Guest]

Was set to make his NRL debut this year too
R.I.P <3

[Guest]

Very sad news and a real blow to the morale of their club. You can't help but wonder what a young buy set to make his FG could be depressed about.

[007]

Very sad news and a real blow to the morale of their club. You can't help but wonder what a young boy set to make his FG could be depressed about.

You've answered your own question TCB and I fixed your typo.

Depression - can literally be a killer. I see your point and often used to wonder myself how someone like him with so much going for them could be depressed. From my understanding about depression, what it comes down to is a lack of serotonin (positive brain cells). I've attached a link that I think may be useful to anyone who’s interested.

http://www.webmd.com/depression/features/serotonin

Putting it in to perspective, here are just some of many famous people that you may think (as I did) have/had the world at their feet that have/had battled depression: J. K. Rowling, Heath Ledger, Kurt Cobain, Harrison Ford, Billy Joel, Princess Di, Beethoven, Winston Churchill, Jim Carrey, Sheryl Crow, Elton John, Carrie Fisher, the list unfortunately is endless.

Point is depression can possibly affect everyone; whether you are rich and famous or a teenager trying to fit in (peer group pressure).

I wish I had a solution but I don’t. Trying to see the bigger picture is easier said than done but that's not to say it can't happen. 'The glass half full approach' - that's positive so at least that's a start.

[chook 56]

Good points, James.
The thing that we found helped the most was to keep talking to them & NEVER judge & condemn.
Support & more support.
There is no quick fix. Just years of continually watching & listening.
Depression is NOT a sign of weakness. It means that this person feels overwhelmed & helpless. In a lot of cases they don't like the way that their lives have been transformed (whether it be for the better or worse) & just want it to go back to the way it was. In most cases this just isn't possible therefore they feel they only have one way out.

If you have someone in your life that you have noticed that may fit this description....be there for them.
You may be the difference.



Take care, everyone.

[Guest]

it can go on for ages without the person diagnosed even noticing either. its horrible.

[chook 56]

it can go on for ages without the person diagnosed even noticing either. its horrible.

Correct.
In a most cases the person involved realises that everyone is watching & they then begin to mask the symptoms.
In other words, they hide their depression.
This then tends to hasten the whole process downhill.

[Guest]

You've answered your own question TCB and I fixed your typo.

Depression - can literally be a killer. I see your point and often used to wonder myself how someone like him with so much going for them could be depressed. From my understanding about depression, what it comes down to is a lack of serotonin (positive brain cells). I've attached a link that I think may be useful to anyone who’s interested.

http://www.webmd.com/depression/features/serotonin

Putting it in to perspective, here are just some of many famous people that you may think (as I did) have/had the world at their feet that have/had battled depression: J. K. Rowling, Heath Ledger, Kurt Cobain, Harrison Ford, Billy Joel, Princess Di, Beethoven, Winston Churchill, Jim Carrey, Sheryl Crow, Elton John, Carrie Fisher, the list unfortunately is endless.

Point is depression can possibly affect everyone; whether you are rich and famous or a teenager trying to fit in (peer group pressure).

I wish I had a solution but I don’t. Trying to see the bigger picture is easier said than done but that's not to say it can't happen. 'The glass half full approach' - that's positive so at least that's a start.

I was about to tell you **** off for fixing the typo but it was pretty poor so thanks I was pondering aloud really rather than asking the question.

Trust me. I have dealt with depression personally for most of my life although it has diminished as I have gotten older. It is really difficult to measure the negative impact it has had on my life.

Honestly, I think most on the forum would have either dealt with depression either personally or through the experience of family or friends.

[007]

Good points, James.
The thing that we found helped the most was to keep talking to them & NEVER judge & condemn.
Support & more support.
There is no quick fix. Just years of continually watching & listening.
Depression is NOT a sign of weakness. It means that this person feels overwhelmed & helpless. In a lot of cases they don't like the way that their lives have been transformed (whether it be for the better or worse) & just want it to go back to the way it was. In most cases this just isn't possible therefore they feel they only have one way out.

If you have someone in your life that you have noticed that may fit this description....be there for them.
You may be the difference.



Take care, everyone.

Kudos to you and your family chook 56, great advice for any parent or friend that may know someone.

[Guest]

Correct.
In a most cases the person involved realises that everyone is watching & they then begin to mask the symptoms.
In other words, they hide their depression.
This then tends to hasten the whole process downhill.

trust me mate, I know all about it. it isn't fun. especially when youre diagnosed.

[redwhiteblue]

A lot of men, young or old, just don't feel comfortable asking for help, and this makes me sad. They are afraid of being perceived as weak or afraid of being judged as not manly enough. I'd like to think we've progressed from the old chestnuts of "Suck it up. Deal with it. Get over it." None of which is helpful by the way..

Fellas, this is why us girls were invented..not to nag you or drive you all nuts..but to be there for you if you need help. This stereotype of men always having to be the strong ones just annoys me so much. Real friends don't judge or care that you haven't contacted us in weeks, months or years in some cases..Nothing worse than going to a funeral and saying any of the following, "If only I'd known. If only I'd emailed or called more. If only he had come to me, I could have helped."
I know from my own experiences, I've found it easier to speak to strangers rather than my own sisters, but at least I've spoken and unburdened myself. Us girls never shut up about our problems, but men are a different breed and I respect that. Everyone has to unburden themselves in a way that is comfortable for them and in their own time, without prodding or prying from anyone else.

And Chook 56, your post made me cry but I'm so glad your son is now in a positive place. How could he not with a parent like you? Thanks so much for sharing such a personal and private story with us. You didn't have to do that but you just might help someone else now.

And if you are caring for someone who is unwell, don't fall into the trap of making it your life's work. I know from personal experience how draining and upsetting this can be and its easy to become resentful. It's all very well to be supportive and it's a noble thing to do but make sure the carer is being cared for as well. We are no good to the people we love and are trying to help if we then become unwell ourselves. Go for a walk, get fresh air, go watch the Roosters smash Souths..even just an hour a day of 'me' time is allowed for all of us. We can't fix the world in a day and cure everyone of their ills but it's very satisfying and a privilege to be trusted by those who need us.

[Guest]

id also like to add that not all suicides are caused by depression...maybe some have a chronic pain and no pain killers work, maybe some have a chronic anxiety disorder and are more afraid of life than they are of death...some have psychosis and dont know dreams from reality...many factors other than depression contribute to suicide..just throwing that out there