Tweet
Well well well. Normality restored. The Vermin Filth back in familiar surrounds at the bottom after a hiding from Easts. Easts on top even if its only Round 2. The clinical display from Easts leaves no doubt how over hyped the Filth are. A bunch of skinny pricks smashed a gagle of fat geese. This week the Premiership leaders face the uncertainty of the Tigpies. They have their stars but its the no names and one old Winger that has teams jumping with anticipation and playing with caution. What does this week hold for Easts? lets find out...
1. Todd Carney V Tim Moltzen - On my signal unlease "Carnage". It was the catch cry from Melon last week in Souffs corporate splendor - sharing a flaggon and eating sandwiches out of a bin with the Red and Green elite where the only downer was Melonious Maximus almost losing a thumb, after shoving it up Hollywood Phoney's abused clacker. Carnage was everywhere last week, and playing a notch above every other back on the field. His slicing runs would have made The Fan blush with pride. This week he's up against a bloke called "Lava". The Tigpie fans will cheer as this journeyman explodes from the tunnel, all fire and froth, only to see the Easts bombadiers snuff him out leaving him a dribbling mess of soot and ash solidified in the in goal area. He'll blow a stack. There goes the Carbon Footprint.
2. Sam Perret V Beau Ryan - A solid performance from "Ferret" as he continued to weasel his way through the ruck eating up thousands of miles and getting the fat slugs from the Filth backpeddling like a Federal Minister. He is up for another big game this week as he faces "Bow River". The popular number from the Chisels back catalog is fighting a charge for thuggery and if he gets through this week and makes the field, he'd wish he copped it coz the next thing he'll know he'll be back in Bow River again....without a paddle.
3. Phil Graham V Chris Lawrence - A quiet first dig by "Kennedy" pushing out the tried and tested one liners but playing it safe for a solid debut in Easts colours. Will get better and will be needed this week to combat the speed from his opposite. "Of Arabia" a folk legend and hero of the fibros, has speed to burn, and will test the Easts backline as only he can.
4. Shaun Kenny-Dowell V Blake Ayshford - "Skid Row" saved his best for round 1. It took him 12 months to wind those big lanky legs up and run like the wind through the feable Vermin Filthy piles of dung. His opposite almost broke the world conoe paddling record just trying to keep up. He should have used oars instead of two wooden spoons. This week he faces "On the Buses". The Hitler moustachioed ticket inspector will be running around cursing 'Skid row' as the Kid takes "On the Buses" for a ride he'll never forget since the night Olive let the old trench coat wearing pervert punch a hole in her ticket. "mmmmmmm I'll get you Butler!!!...."
5. Anthony Minchiello V Lote Tuquiri - The Moth has emerged from his chrysalis like a new man. For the first time in ages, injury free and a fresh fat coat of dust on his Wings, he tore through the worn vermin cardigans, and bounced around like only the pinball wizard could. He's looking up old friends as he takes on his 2000 Grand Final rival "Tequila". The Mexican firebrand hit home instantly last week with his first touch and will need the salt and lemon squeezed out of him to stop a possible Easts hangover. Melon's matchup of the game.
6. Braith Anasta V Benji Marshall - Zoolander will be needed this weekend. His Bombs will terrorise "Lava" who is pathetic at catching. But whilst he drops big ones on the gluggy lampster, his opposite will need to be watched. "Battery" is hot and cold. He either hides on the wing after he breaks a fingernail sneazing, or he scores 2 tries and sets up 3 others. What will it be this weekend? Heavy Duty Energizer or a AAA weener that will have him hollering?
7. Mitchell Pearce v Robert Lui - An awesome performance from Prong 2 of the Easts lethal spear last week. "JrJr" had his senses heightened and the red light was on all night at Artarmon willing him home, as he tore the Vermin nutbags off that fluffy feral hobby farm known as Souffs. His running at the line was only bettered by him on a night they were offering free private shows at Spearmint Rhino. The little stiffy is in for another big thrust this Sunday. He faces author extrodinaire "Stevenson". He may have once written Treasure Island and created Long John Silver, but after JrJr finishes with him the only thing long will be his stay on The John, as he craps himself - and like the real author, he'll eventually reach his final resting place in Samoa, having got there express bagage, via you guessed it - a canoe.
8.Lopini Paea V Bryce Gibbs - "Danny Glover" was an integral part of the Bunnie killing machine last week. He didnt stand out, but stood tall and did his equal share with the other Easts beasts smashing his way to the line and working hard for the time he was on. He's up against the King of blow dryers, white Jeans and meaningless songs in very high voices, "Bee Gee". The aging warbler was at his best 30 years ago when Night Fevers were something that wasnt caused by excessive Ice smoking, and John Revolting wore a white vest and flares. He'll be back there in no time as "Danny Glover" re-invents the time machine and sends this freak back to the land of glowing dancefloors - Wests at Campbelltown.
9. James Aubusson V Robbie Farah - "Jorbs" finds himself starting this week, after an energetic spell off the bench last week which saw him mow down plenty and ankle deep in bodies - usually his own team mates after a Jorbs pass to the head. he is too keen and needs to lay a very cool hand against "Charlie's Angel". This guy is the heart and soul of the Tigpies, and it will literally take Lee Majors to bring him down. Might be the difference in the end.
10.Frank Paul Nuaasala V Keith Galloway - Another surprise performance by "Tank"very similar and just as effective as Danny Glover, sees the big war machine start ahead of "I Robot". He's up against "Getaway". The perfect Getaway is - flying to a deserted island with horn bags Catriona Rowntree and Natalie Zubreastly who cant seem to keep their hands off each other as they lustfully tease you all the way to your lagoon Buret..........., unfortunately with this guy the best on offer is Bronwyn Bishop and Julia Gillard seductively and suggestingly sharing a chicko roll on the banks of the Cooks River at Tempe. Thats more like Get the **** Away.
11. Aiden Guerra V Liam Fulton - A superb introduction by "Guerilla" sees the successful debutant start in place of the injured "Feather Duster". This kid was very impressive with his camo and bandana blazing away in the heart of the ANZ jungle and taking out all and sundry in a Green and Red flack jacket. His target this week is "Bozo". This kid idolised Bob Fulton. He followed him everywhere. When Bob wasnt looking the kid would sneak into the car and follow him to work at 2GB, would hide behind furniture at Board meetings at Manly Leagues just to be close to the father figure he idolised. He was at Bob's every Christmas and would never forget Bob's birthday. Until one day somone spotted him at Grandma Fulton's 100th birthday bash at Brookvale Chinese Restaurant and said "Who the **** are you!?". Not even a relation. Thats "Bozo" for you. An absolute arse clown.
12. Mitchell Aubusson V Gareth Ellis - Skinny prick "Morbs" with his bean pole partner ran rings around the Vermin fat slugs last week just as I suggested they would. This week "Morbs" needs to build on that as he faces a decent pommie import in "Netball Liz".
13. Nate Myles V Chris Heighington - He is my favourite Chook, and last week "Snapperhead" showed what he is capable of. I need not go on, we all saw the man of the match performance. His opposite "Weighs a ton" is a big straping lad and a good player. But I reckon our Captain Crapper will have too much and get over the top of his boofy opposite.
The Bench
14. Conman V Captain Caveman
15. I Robot V Less is Best
16. Takearaincheck V Pass the Flagon
17. Acropolis Now V And Henry Fits Danny Boy.
After last week its hard not to have confidence in these cocks. At the same token the Tigpies did come back from the dead. It'll be close, but i reckon Easts will get the money.
Easts by 4.
1. Todd Carney V Tim Moltzen - On my signal unlease "Carnage". It was the catch cry from Melon last week in Souffs corporate splendor - sharing a flaggon and eating sandwiches out of a bin with the Red and Green elite where the only downer was Melonious Maximus almost losing a thumb, after shoving it up Hollywood Phoney's abused clacker. Carnage was everywhere last week, and playing a notch above every other back on the field. His slicing runs would have made The Fan blush with pride. This week he's up against a bloke called "Lava". The Tigpie fans will cheer as this journeyman explodes from the tunnel, all fire and froth, only to see the Easts bombadiers snuff him out leaving him a dribbling mess of soot and ash solidified in the in goal area. He'll blow a stack. There goes the Carbon Footprint.
2. Sam Perret V Beau Ryan - A solid performance from "Ferret" as he continued to weasel his way through the ruck eating up thousands of miles and getting the fat slugs from the Filth backpeddling like a Federal Minister. He is up for another big game this week as he faces "Bow River". The popular number from the Chisels back catalog is fighting a charge for thuggery and if he gets through this week and makes the field, he'd wish he copped it coz the next thing he'll know he'll be back in Bow River again....without a paddle.
3. Phil Graham V Chris Lawrence - A quiet first dig by "Kennedy" pushing out the tried and tested one liners but playing it safe for a solid debut in Easts colours. Will get better and will be needed this week to combat the speed from his opposite. "Of Arabia" a folk legend and hero of the fibros, has speed to burn, and will test the Easts backline as only he can.
4. Shaun Kenny-Dowell V Blake Ayshford - "Skid Row" saved his best for round 1. It took him 12 months to wind those big lanky legs up and run like the wind through the feable Vermin Filthy piles of dung. His opposite almost broke the world conoe paddling record just trying to keep up. He should have used oars instead of two wooden spoons. This week he faces "On the Buses". The Hitler moustachioed ticket inspector will be running around cursing 'Skid row' as the Kid takes "On the Buses" for a ride he'll never forget since the night Olive let the old trench coat wearing pervert punch a hole in her ticket. "mmmmmmm I'll get you Butler!!!...."
5. Anthony Minchiello V Lote Tuquiri - The Moth has emerged from his chrysalis like a new man. For the first time in ages, injury free and a fresh fat coat of dust on his Wings, he tore through the worn vermin cardigans, and bounced around like only the pinball wizard could. He's looking up old friends as he takes on his 2000 Grand Final rival "Tequila". The Mexican firebrand hit home instantly last week with his first touch and will need the salt and lemon squeezed out of him to stop a possible Easts hangover. Melon's matchup of the game.
6. Braith Anasta V Benji Marshall - Zoolander will be needed this weekend. His Bombs will terrorise "Lava" who is pathetic at catching. But whilst he drops big ones on the gluggy lampster, his opposite will need to be watched. "Battery" is hot and cold. He either hides on the wing after he breaks a fingernail sneazing, or he scores 2 tries and sets up 3 others. What will it be this weekend? Heavy Duty Energizer or a AAA weener that will have him hollering?
7. Mitchell Pearce v Robert Lui - An awesome performance from Prong 2 of the Easts lethal spear last week. "JrJr" had his senses heightened and the red light was on all night at Artarmon willing him home, as he tore the Vermin nutbags off that fluffy feral hobby farm known as Souffs. His running at the line was only bettered by him on a night they were offering free private shows at Spearmint Rhino. The little stiffy is in for another big thrust this Sunday. He faces author extrodinaire "Stevenson". He may have once written Treasure Island and created Long John Silver, but after JrJr finishes with him the only thing long will be his stay on The John, as he craps himself - and like the real author, he'll eventually reach his final resting place in Samoa, having got there express bagage, via you guessed it - a canoe.
8.Lopini Paea V Bryce Gibbs - "Danny Glover" was an integral part of the Bunnie killing machine last week. He didnt stand out, but stood tall and did his equal share with the other Easts beasts smashing his way to the line and working hard for the time he was on. He's up against the King of blow dryers, white Jeans and meaningless songs in very high voices, "Bee Gee". The aging warbler was at his best 30 years ago when Night Fevers were something that wasnt caused by excessive Ice smoking, and John Revolting wore a white vest and flares. He'll be back there in no time as "Danny Glover" re-invents the time machine and sends this freak back to the land of glowing dancefloors - Wests at Campbelltown.
9. James Aubusson V Robbie Farah - "Jorbs" finds himself starting this week, after an energetic spell off the bench last week which saw him mow down plenty and ankle deep in bodies - usually his own team mates after a Jorbs pass to the head. he is too keen and needs to lay a very cool hand against "Charlie's Angel". This guy is the heart and soul of the Tigpies, and it will literally take Lee Majors to bring him down. Might be the difference in the end.
10.Frank Paul Nuaasala V Keith Galloway - Another surprise performance by "Tank"very similar and just as effective as Danny Glover, sees the big war machine start ahead of "I Robot". He's up against "Getaway". The perfect Getaway is - flying to a deserted island with horn bags Catriona Rowntree and Natalie Zubreastly who cant seem to keep their hands off each other as they lustfully tease you all the way to your lagoon Buret..........., unfortunately with this guy the best on offer is Bronwyn Bishop and Julia Gillard seductively and suggestingly sharing a chicko roll on the banks of the Cooks River at Tempe. Thats more like Get the **** Away.
11. Aiden Guerra V Liam Fulton - A superb introduction by "Guerilla" sees the successful debutant start in place of the injured "Feather Duster". This kid was very impressive with his camo and bandana blazing away in the heart of the ANZ jungle and taking out all and sundry in a Green and Red flack jacket. His target this week is "Bozo". This kid idolised Bob Fulton. He followed him everywhere. When Bob wasnt looking the kid would sneak into the car and follow him to work at 2GB, would hide behind furniture at Board meetings at Manly Leagues just to be close to the father figure he idolised. He was at Bob's every Christmas and would never forget Bob's birthday. Until one day somone spotted him at Grandma Fulton's 100th birthday bash at Brookvale Chinese Restaurant and said "Who the **** are you!?". Not even a relation. Thats "Bozo" for you. An absolute arse clown.
12. Mitchell Aubusson V Gareth Ellis - Skinny prick "Morbs" with his bean pole partner ran rings around the Vermin fat slugs last week just as I suggested they would. This week "Morbs" needs to build on that as he faces a decent pommie import in "Netball Liz".
13. Nate Myles V Chris Heighington - He is my favourite Chook, and last week "Snapperhead" showed what he is capable of. I need not go on, we all saw the man of the match performance. His opposite "Weighs a ton" is a big straping lad and a good player. But I reckon our Captain Crapper will have too much and get over the top of his boofy opposite.
The Bench
14. Conman V Captain Caveman
15. I Robot V Less is Best
16. Takearaincheck V Pass the Flagon
17. Acropolis Now V And Henry Fits Danny Boy.
After last week its hard not to have confidence in these cocks. At the same token the Tigpies did come back from the dead. It'll be close, but i reckon Easts will get the money.
Easts by 4.
Comment