Sam Burgess squeezed an opponent's testicles and the NRL will not charge him

[Spirit of 66]

Sam Burgess gets a two week suspension (actually one week plus carry over points) for "contrary conduct". This appears to be a euphemism for something that is given a somewhat harsher name in the real world:

"Sexual assault is any involuntary sexual act in which a person is threatened, coerced, or forced to engage against their will, or any sexual touching of a person who has not consented."

Well done NRL on your courage in setting the standard for future penalties for this type of offence.

[Spirit of 66]

pats on the back for Player1. What a farking hero. All credit goes to him. Credit that any nuffie from another team who trawls this site can see that by far we are the most penalised, hard done by team by far in the comp. Not only do we set on top of the comp, but we are the most disiplined team in the comp who are treated so harshly week in and week out. We are singled out by commentators, super league, the men in pink and the boogey man.

To back up the argument, he needs to call names. knowone is making you look silly. Your doing a fair job yourself.\


BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

Just in reference to your 8:42pm edit, you missed a few more spelling mistakes. "Discipline" includes a "c". It is "no one", not "knowone". "Your doing a fair job" should be "you're doing a fair job". And you left out the apostrophe in "doesn't".

Hurry - if you make the changes now, Player 1 won't notice.

[Guest]

Who would have guessed it. Players BFF! It was the men in pink who made me spell this way. I have a stat to prove it I swear.

[Spirit of 66]

Who would have guessed it. Players BFF! It was the men in pink who made me spell this way. I have a stat to prove it I swear.

You're welcome, adzta. Poor literacy has the potential to detract from your otherwise cogent and persuasive arguments. It's never too late to learn and there are resources and links here that might help you: http://www.readingwritinghotline.edu.au/

[chook 56]

http://www.smh.com.au/rugby-league/l...814-2rwu1.html

Funny shite from Fitzy.
Laughed at the bit about Noel Kelly & the Postman.

The seasons come, the seasons go. The years roll by, the days grow cold and we grow old … and yet, comfortingly, there are still a few things that never change in rugby league. That is the bleating cry sounded every year, floating across our fields of broken dreams like the haunting whistle of a lost and lonely steam train in the moonlight, a yearning from yesteryear, still able to rouse the phantoms of the night, the ghosts of winters past who rise from their graves and march like zombies to its tune.
Ah, my friends, hear it now, as it floats anew … ''BRING .. BACK .. THE .. BIFFFFFF!''
This year's cry has been a beauty, and its unlikely genesis came last Sunday afternoon when, after a tackle, Souths player Sam Burgess grabbed the testicles of his defenceless Melbourne Storm opponent Will Chambers and so viciously twisted them that Chambers was left writhing in agony.


(Cue P.G. Wodehouse in Very Good, Jeeves: ''Football is a game where the main scheme is to work the ball down the field somehow and deposit it over the line at the other end and that, in order to squelch this program, each side is allowed to put in a certain amount of assault and battery and do things to its fellowman which, if done elsewhere, would result in 14 days without the option, coupled with some strong remarks from the Bench.'' But I digress.)
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Not unreasonably the judiciary took a very dim view of this, and Burgess was suspended for two weeks for his trouble.
Now, you and I may think the Englishman escaped lightly, that the penalty for grabbing another man's genitalia and twisting should be something a little stronger than a two week holiday.


(Personally, electrocution comes to mind, but that may be just me.)
You and I might think that there are few lower things possible to do on a football field than going the ''squirrel grip'', ''the Christmas hold'', the ''Nutcracker Suite'', on a prone opponent incapable of defending himself. But then, you and I are not old leaguies, and because of that we simply don't understand the truth of the matter. For you see, as it turns out, Burgess didn't do this because he is a cheap-shot dickhead; he did it because the NRL has been cracking down on violent play, and this was the last means available for him to properly express himself! Brett Whiteley painted, Dame Joan Sutherland sang, and … Burgess grabs testicles!
I am NOT making this up!
Two rugby league greats made this very claim in The Daily Telegraph on Tuesday.
Tell 'em what you said, Noel Kelly, former front-row great of the Magpies, a man sent off so often for violent play, we have it on the authority of Roy Masters that to this day, when he hears the postman's whistle, he goes and has a shower.
''Mate,'' Kelly says, ''you've got to remember the old punch in the nose has been driven out of the game. When you get yourself that angry, you've just got to do something. They've driven it all underground, you can't get away with anything now. I mean, the sooner they bring back the punch in the nose the better. You'll get rid of all this other stuff.''
Exactly! Finally someone has come out and said the truth of the matter: Rugby league without a punch in the nose is like Fiddler On The Roof without a fiddle; like an opera without a fat lady; like a Pommy without a whinge; like an Australian Ashes team without a victory in four Tests - it is against nature and just not right.
And I know you think that, George Piggins, 'cos that's exactly what you told the Tele: ''Souths were the favourites and they are getting beat and the frustration comes out. You know what I mean … You put your hand on the inside of his legs and if it slides up and his nuts are at the end of it, well, what do you do?''
I know, Principal Piggins, I know! Pick me! Pick ME!
Thank you, sir. In that situation, sir, of course, you squeeze those nuts and you pull them and twist them till you leave your opponent writhing in agony on the ground. You risk his reproductive organs, his potential to father children, all in the interests of winning a football game. You put aside all notions of basic decency, and you just go for it like a mad thing! Twist! PULL! Squeeze!
Did I get it right?
Thank you, sir! Oh, but I have more. Not only do you do that, but if anyone questions that approach, then you say that it is not the fault of the player who did the act, but all the fault of the NRL, because they simply don't understand what real men should be allowed to do to other real men in football games! Have I done it again?
Top of the class?
THANK YOU, SIR!
(Seriously, though, you couldn't make this stuff up if you tried, could you?)
Twitter - @Peter_Fitz